Hey guys. I'm not exactly sure if or how many people still use this site, and that's okay if no one really see this message. I just thought I'd give a little life date since it's been a little over seven months since my last broadcasted message. You don't have to read if you don't care, but this is just a little explanation of my absence from the site that's been going on for almost a year.
I cannot remember if I mentioned last year at any point that I was actually in fact dating someone. Him and I are no longer together for many good reasons, but he was my first love. I had spent so much time absorbed in him that I forgot about schoolwork, family, friends, field hockey, writing, and even my true love of all things; art. He controlled lots of aspects in my life because of not liking most of the previously mentioned things that I had ultimately given up for him. This isn't all his fault--I should have stood up more for myself. But because of this, I lost a part of myself that I truly loved. Him and I dated for 9 months--3/4 of a year in which I claimed I was happy, yet found myself crying myself to sleep every single night because I had not felt as though I was good enough for him. For anyone reading this that may be struggling through something similar: this is NOT love. He broke up with me in the spring of 2016 for my best friend--something any logical person that wasn't me at the time could have foreseen--which was probably the best thing that's ever happened to me to this day. It took me several months to pull myself away from that situation, to stop hating every ounce of myself. I've found someone new, in fact, but not before I took the time to figure myself out and love who I am. I'm going to college in a year, guys. I have never been more excited for something in my entire life. I've fallen back in love with life and writing and art, and I just wanted to let you all know that I'm okay. And that you all should love yourselves, and I'm here if you need me.