viktor heimerdinger william

Thx for reading my JayVik story ! 

nah cuz i just drew Viktor from Arcane on my school briefcase-  
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          I think I fell in love with him

I WAS DRAWING A SUN FAN ART AND THE PICTURE I WAS USING AS REFERENCE DISAPPEARED FROM THE FACE OF THE INTERNET HELP

For her getting surgery is like "trying to become Frankenstein" with "an artificial abortion of meat that will never work in between your legs"... 
          Also, she just doesn't understand that it's not just about me wanting a pp and stuff, for me a very important part is my pronouns and name. Thinking back to just a few years ago, I didn't really mind when people accidentally called me a boy (I always kept my hair short), and it was mostly other people that corrected them. And now I realised that I don't actually like feminine pronouns. I had already agreed to myself that I didn't really like my name a while back ago, and I had already kind of chosen a new one before discovering I was trans. Anyways, when I hit this topic while talking with my mother, her reaction was pretty much this: "well then, who do you wanna be, eh?" *she left the space for me to tell her what name I would've liked to be called with, but I didn't answer because, uhh, dunno* "maybe you wanna be Mario?" (not referring to super Mario, she just picked an Italian name because, well, I'm Italian). And here I was like, "bitch are you motherfucking blind because I very clearly sign myself as william dave (yes I know don't bully me because I chose that as my name) in every drawing I do and I literally have a whole dedicated page in a notepad to practice my signature".
          
          One last thing, this doesn't really have to do with my gender identity but I need to vent about it so. 
          I
          HAVE
          NO
          BLOODY
          DAMN
          FUCKING
          PRIVACY.
          LIKE I GET IT, IM YOUR SON, YOU MADE ME, BUT THAT DOESN'T MEAN THAT IM FINE WITH YOU RANDOMLY ENTERING THE BATHROOM WHILE IM WASHING MYSELF. YOU CAN'T JUST SIT IN FRONT OF ME WHILE IM SHITTING AND THEN ASK YOURSELF WHY I TOLD YOU TO LEAVE ME ALONE!
          AND OH, WHAT'S THAT? I JUST ASKED YOU TO NOT TOUCH AN OBJECT IN MY ROOM BECAUSE ITS PRIVATE STUFF? (Part 3 of my long vent, next part won't have the notification.) 

me that I like, I don't think she realised that they have the trans' flag colours on them - I don't think she has even ever seen the flag as I literally have it on the background of my Whatsapp profile pic and she hasn't told me anything about it) and a jumper on. Anyways, again I was the only one wearing that time of clothes (and mind me, we are 21 in my class and I've never seen anyone with anything remotely close to that shirt). And I felt left out, even if no one has ever made comments about my clothing. When I feel embarrassed like this I always think stuff like "oh god they're probably thinking stuff like "look at her with that weird shirt of hers"... Another thing that she often says is that im lucky that I have two legs (with some of my friends I turned it into a joke to ironize a bit the situation by adding that I wanted 3 legs instead of two), that I have 2 perfectly working eyes, I don't have limbs sticking out of weird places and other crap like that, and it triggers me a lot because I don't get how this should connect to the fact that im uncomfortable because I feel like something is missing in between my legs. 
          Oh, and don't even get me started about how she knows NOTHING about this situation's terminology. She's basically stuck in the 80s when the term " transexual" was still in use. She has no idea what a binder is (she had to look it up when I told her that getting one could help me feel more comfortable) and then she called it a "torture instrument", I doubt she knows what a packer is and I personally don't want her to discover what it is, she'd make a scandal out of it, if I understood correctly where this is going trans tape is the devil's creation...
          And let's not forget the fact that she thinks that every single trans person ends up in some shady alley making money by hooking up...(part 2 of my long vent) 

I'm about to vent do leave if ur not comfortable with it pls
          Ok, so you may or may not know that im transgender FTM (you prob didn't know but details). I don't suffer particularly from gender dysphoria, and when I do it's not a lot but still. The thing that has been bothering me in the past months is that my mother (who I discovered is transphobic) doesn't accept me. We talked about this a few times, and there are some things that she says that are really bugging me, like: "u can tell people to call you however u want" and then she's like "you are *insert deadname* and you can't change that". She also told me that I could dress up however I wanted, but then when I went shopping with her, she pointed out - without even explicitating it - that she wasn't going to buy me any clothes that weren't in the girl's section, and she also has a terrible taste in clothing, or at least very different from mine, and I find most of the stuff that she buys me (apart from jeans and some hoodies) embarrassing to wear, for example, she recently bought me a pair of boots (I didn't like them when we bought them, but I didn't want to complain bc then she would've started talking about how this stuff is just a phase and so on) and when the next day she told me to wear them to go to school I felt extremely embarrassed and left out as I noticed that no one, not even professors or janitors were wearing that type of boots. All of my classmates had nice sneakers, and I had to wear this ugly pair of boots. Or again, a few months ago she bought me this shirt that has a kind of skirt thing at the bottom and she made me wear it (oh yeah I forgot she chooses what I wear) the day I had PE. So I had this shirt, a pair of leggings, sneakers (probably one of the only pairs of shoes that she bought - (this is just part 1 lol I have a limit of 2000 characters and the whole text is almost 8000)

*coughs on your doorknobs*

MERRY CHRISTMASSS YALLLLLL <3 :))))) 

ITS MY BIRTHDAY TODAYYYYYYY WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO but im also kinda sad for another thing 

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