:)

oops

is it bad that when I think about cutting my while body tingles and I long for it but am to coward to actually press the blade to my skin? The thought of the blade and the blood coming out and wow... Why does my body long for that feeling .???

I'M AN IDIOT! I ACTUALLY TOOK APART MY PENCIL SHARPENER AND FELT RELEIVED! WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME???? I ACTUALLY SORTA CUT FOR THE FIRST TIME AND I LIKED IT, AND NIW I WANT TO DO IT MORE BUT I KNOW I CANT!! I JUST HAVE BEEN SO STRESSED LATELY AND THE SCRAYCHUNG ONLY HELPS TO A POINT. I just... I want to know how it feels to really cut. But I know I shouldn't. I can't believe I'm saying this. I can't believe I took apart a SHARPENER and now I'm to scared to freaking do it.

I tried

one. must. not. cry.