InkknPixxel
Hi hi
Thanks for following, hope you like what you find
onthepipside
george_senyo
Thanks for the follow , you can check out my on going story STATE HARVEST, vote and leave a review .
GLaC1991
Hi Pip. Your critique was very helpful. I did a re-edit to tone it down and be less provocative.
Thank you for your feedback it is appreciated and respected.
https://www.wattpad.com/1587002230?utm_source=ios&utm_medium=link&utm_content=share_reading&wp_page=reading&wp_uname=GLaC1991
onthepipside
@GLaC1991 Looks good. I think you've got the balance much better in this new version. :)
onthepipside
So that's it. 'Two Years' is now complete. Skye and Amy's story has finally come to an end. Thanks so much to all of you who have read and commented on it. I am so grateful to you!
GLaC1991
Thank you. I’d really like to expand their subplots.
https://www.wattpad.com/1587002230?utm_source=ios&utm_medium=link&utm_content=share_reading&wp_page=reading&wp_uname=GLaC1991
GLaC1991
Thank you. That’s why I asked. I felt a little uncomfortable writing it myself which is why I wanted some women’s perspective. Going to keep it more about the three relationships for the second half of the story. I appreciate your feedback as always.
onthepipside
@GLaC1991 Hi George, You asked for my feedback, so here it is: Overall, this is a rollicking good time, as always. The first section in the diner works fine for me. The women talking about their relationships all makes sense. With the second section, sorry I’m not the best person to advise as I’ve never been to any shows like the Chippendales. I think it’s fine, but my first thought was that what’s described would be quite outside some women’s comfort zones. It depends on the characters. Angie we know is quite confident, but I would have thought some of the other women would find the whole situation funny, but also a little uncomfortable. I would make some of the women laugh, but also be a little squeamish about participating. Those are my thoughts – but I’m just one person, of course, so make of it what you will. Hope this helps.
GLaC1991
“I wrote a chapter strictly from my female characters’ POV—wanted to give them their own night, their own voices, without filtering through the male gaze. I’d appreciate some feedback on how I did. Would you like to see it?
insane_over_books
Hi, thank you so much for the follow! Please be sure to check out my books! I really hope the story pulls you in and gives you something to hold onto, even if it’s just a moment you liked. If you enjoy it, I’d love it if you voted, commented, or shared; it truly makes a difference. Happy reading!
onthepipside
Three chapters of 'Two Years' up today. The story is almost over. There are two chapters remaining, which I will post next week.
nobodywasthere789
@onthepipside thank you! :))
nobodywasthere789
@onthepipside drop more at once pleaseeee!! I need to know the endinggg the suspense is killing meee