@osha_an
and the cycle of starting to feel depressed, wanting people to notice, ultimately having no one notice or reach out bc i wasnt actively asking for help, holding it against them even if i know that there was no way for them to know, isolating myself from my friends while relapsing in (not-so) secret, has started again. hehe wanna die but also not at the same time but whatever it is what it is, wouldnt mind if i slept and never woke up again though
what makes my egotistical fucking self think im so special to anyone. im nothing. god now i remember what it felt like to never be able to believe that someone could love me, or that someone could look at me and see something special. i was stupid to believe that someone could look at me like that. no one will ever love me. when i realized that again it hit so hard, yet deep down i know ive accepted this so long ago. deeo down i always knew this fact. im so fucking stupid. no one cares about me. they all have their own worries and friends and families, what makes me think that i was ever part of that. i'll never have that. i'll never have what everyone else has. stupid fucking dumbass, i should have never believed that i was good enough for anyone in this first place.
@oshifallin hey…hey, so i know you don't care about me, but…one day, okay? you'll get there one day, even if everything seems pointless. you'll see the sun again one day, even if everything seems so dark. and what do you mean no one will love you? if that's so, then i guess i'm no one. maybe i don't know you, but that doesn't mean i won't look at you as someone who deserves love, and warmth. you're enough, okay? what you are now is enough, even though i doubt you'll believe me. you are enough. please stay for a little longer. i'm no prophet, but one day, okay? one day. there are people who still care. there are people who have always cared. maybe you're not okay now. but wait a little longer.
@ death if u maybe wanna hurry it up a little bit that'd be fucking sick bro !!!
me, having only slasehd mysf 3 times that barely eeven bled: ... is this blood loss?
i feel like the need to delete every trace of yourself online is some sort of modern equivalent of wanting to do so irl, but since we forge basically a different identity online it's disconnected from our irl lives, and thus in a way you could say that wanting to delete everything youve made online is a way or an early sign of some deeply seeded mental trauma/issues. aka i want to fucking die but also not really and im just tired of doing shit everyone else can do but worse.
might mess around and unpublish
mAAM !?? THE THEME IM—
♡＼(`O´θ／ ♡
hi i finally updated TT TT . i know it's like 12am (at least for me) but i hope you enjoy it! <3 <3
etherealshuaᵀᴹ in your profile ♡
I've updated cloud patterns! Honestly, I don't think a lot of people read it but if any of you are waiting for an update, here it is uwu~ Let me know if there are any mistakes in grammar, I haven't slept yet HAHAHAHAHA