It's been a long way trying to deconstruct myself. Erasing the things I knew needed to leave. Things I didn't like about myself. Something else is... letting go of the absurd feeling that I might just always be second best. And it's been hard. And I am trying...but it was tiring, sitting there waiting to be chosen, waiting for someone. A friend, a lover, a soulmate. Someone, something. I got tired of waiting, my love died in the waiting...and I'll have to embrace myself for this.