Well, I apologize for the intention. Although, it never said there that it’s prohibited to ‘re-create’ the story; I may be likely wrong.
I also don’t want to offend you. However, the chapters could need some fixing up. Characters, grammar, and overall plot are essential to the story. English might not be your first language and I sincerely apologize if it is. If it isn’t, I suppose a little editing can do.
The idea of your story is quite interesting, and the the two main characters— Martial and Marsia— are as intriguing as the story. However, the supporting characters feel shallow as I put into it. They’re just in the story to fill the empty spaces in the plot.
I may be wrong in my testimony but this is just the cover of what I would like to critique about. I haven’t read the whole thing due to the several typos that leave a pain to the reader’s eyes.
I would like to help. I enjoy supporting authors’ stories by criticizing them. By the way, the reading list is just a list full of stories I want to tweak if the sorts; roles, exposition, grammar, etc.
I hope I didn’t harm you in any way. For that was not my intention to do so. Have a lovely day and until we meet again.
