E. k.

If any of you are still active, I'm impressed.
          As you can tell, I haven't used this site for years. I also don't plan on coming back after posting this final update. I enjoyed being here while it lasted, though! 
          
          In less than a year, I'll be starting college, which just thinking about makes me experience multiple emotions simultaneously (Not all of them being good). I guess I came back on to remind myself that life will go on, and that I'll eventually make it through even what I once perceived to be the "worst". Every time I make it through that seemingly impossible challenge, I will get stronger, and I will keep going. I hope you all will do the same, and find great meaning and joy in it.
          
          Thank you to those who supported me, I appreciate it even still, and will continue to do so.
          I love you! Goodbye, and take care, everyone!

Hello.
          Do you remember if I ever said I'll be using this area as if it were a personal blog?
          Most of you probably won't. To be honest with you, I don't either. 
          I am going by gut feelings at 12 in the morning. 
          I feel oddly productive and have published a few poems just now, and drew almost 4 pages in my sketchbook, most of the work being fully colored.
          But as productivity increases, so does the clutter in my room and the usage of gigs on my phone. 
          Cleanliness and gigs die before my eyes. 
          I'm going to have to clean again, for the third time this week. It's not enjoyable. 
          But on a lighter note, I've been hanging out with friends for nearly the whole week, and one of my propagated succulent leaves have started to sprout! And the weather in Jersey is finally warming up and it feels like summer. 
          Which is good I think, most of the time. 
          I should really go to sleep now. 
          And I shouldn't have promised myself ample sleep time before break started. 
          Goodnight. 

I tried to upgrade some covers today. 
          This is still new to me after three years. 
          ...
          As an addendum I published another series of poems. I'll try to update them weekly.

School is a big pain in the butt, but I hope that won't stop me from doing what I enjoy. I'm trying to live that statement, and honestly, it's not as easy as it sounds. 
          Stay in school, but most importantly, stay alive. That should come first in terms of priority. 
          I'm back with a short, random piece of writing! It would be really cool if you guys would take the time to check it out. Thanks in advance.

Your book "ambiguous concept" is #5 in poetry.
          Congrats :)

A playground near the ocean was demolished. The water had drowned most of the play sand out, and almost all of the playground was damaged severely. Nobody was there to witness this. Only the sea saw. 
          
          Have a good day :)

I haven't been on here for what seems like a while, but I hope I can come back strong. 
          Here's a short journal entry/pep talk I gave myself tonight before falling asleep. 
          
          Your imagination may be endless, but your space is limited. And some spaces are more condensed than others. 
          I can't help but end up restricting myself in these closed spaces, both mentally and physically. I can only seem to think out of the box when I complain about these situations. 
          When can I ever go outside of the box as I live life?
          As of now, high school seems like a constant cycle. The ambition of being able to do well in school is no longer fueled by passion, but by a foggy threat. That abstract fear branches out into different situations my mind constantly tries to avoid, yet with mostly no avail. So why do I constantly fear failure? I suffer from it on a daily basis. Humans are structured and are prone to failure. Humanity's advancements are rooted to failure. Success itself stems from constant failure. Yet I fear the same path that promises me an eventual achievement. I feel that I can't afford to lose anything else, when in fact I haven't even bothered to sacrifice anything. Things are slowly being taken away from me. I need to get my priorities straight and get things done. Time is running out and trickles away, even as I type this extensive pep talk to myself. 
          Set yourself up. Don't flinch at the idea of planning ahead. Experiment when you can, try to make your life better. One piece of advice: nothing good comes from procrastinating. Instantaneous, spur-of-the-moment pressure doesn't always get you to the right places. You need time to charge up motivation, and enjoy those momentous, blissful moments that make you exclaim, "Eureka!"

So... we got back our Fahrenheit 451 quizzes today and I did a surprisingly acceptable job. (With an 88 ohohooo.) 
          Anyways homework will continue to be a subject constantly leeching onto everything I say. I feel flooded by it, and almost all too overwhelmed. I squeeze in time to be productive recreationally and in my hobbies, but it consumes me with guilt and more worrying about the assignments I never finished. 
          On a better note, I got my first 100 on an art homework. I had been getting consecutive 95s for all my work so far, so this feels great. 
          I hope to write and publish more poems soon, so all of you can enjoy. 
          Thank you for being here and watching over this slow, painful progression over words and tears, and I hope you will all continue to advance on in life safely. Good night. 

BTS' new album gives me all the feels. 
          
          I felt tears while shading my still-life assignment for art this morning. (J-Hope's solo makes me strangely nostalgic.)
          
          The week has been rough for me so far, yet it's only Tuesday...
          
          I have small waves of regret and doubt that come and go as the weeks go by. My life is changing gradually, and for some reason I also feel a bit hollowed out, much like a moss-covered log in the midst of forest gump. (So much for being "board" though. I might as well be "bark"ing up the wrong tree.) I bet these puns are destroying the Earth so I'll stop now. On second thought, technically almost everything is destroying Earth somehow...
          
          Tomorrow will be dedicated to desperately jotting down history notes that I tried not to procrastinate on, my art homework that I never got the chance to start, and the Fahrenheit 451 quiz in English. 
          
          Wish me luck...I think I'll need it. And I'll silently appreciate it if you do wish me luck. 
          
          

Without a warning of any sort, my fourteenth birthday has come and gone. Of course with some pictures and gifts and all those nice and nifty things friends give you. Oh, definitely don't forget birthday punches. Actually, the only birthday punch I recieved was a punch to my feels gland which has no definite location. My friends and I went to go watch Kubo and the Two Strings- trust me, it is such a good movie. I did not feel any regret whatsoever about it afterwards and I loved every moment of it. Maybe because I'm easily hyped by movies and stuff but it was great.