anna-maria

@kageyamasatoru voted!

@Tyler_256 no, but it seems great!

@Tyler_256 so like, have you watched it? 

@Tyler_256 I've heard of it, yes! It seems great

@Tyler_256 for real, and thank you so much  <33

@Tyler_256 yeah. That's so true. I usually distract my opponent so I can get further from checkmate. Also, you're so cool

@Tyler_256 LOLLL yeah i like to gaslight myself into thinking that too. chess is sooo fun though

@mypersonaldiary2 Nah, I absolutely hate it (wink wink!!!)

@mypersonaldiary2 HEYY, THAT WAS MEAN (chuckles lightly as they drag me to the padded white room)

@paristarr WHATTT three weeks is insaneee!! ur not crazy dw.. probably...

@corn15a THANK YOUUU YOURS IS ALSO GORGINA <3

@zoey4e um okay cool..I'm sorry for being unclear. But I was just letting you know that's kinda how I felt but if you're good with it then great! Regardless I still wanna see where the story goes..

@zoey4e I definitely change my writing style in almost every story I write, but that's because I want to experiment with different styles. I don't know what style suits me best yet. 
            
            And what do you mean by "keep changing tense into fast and present tense" because the wording is kind of confusing there.
            
            I also physically cannot shorten my paragraphs any more because if I do, they will all be one sentence long. I counted and my longest paragraph (with dialogue) is six sentences. Also, the conversation between Bonnie and the receptionist is the only thing I could think of as being classified as "long dialogue," but there are four sentences in between the first and second dialogue, and I've seen a lot more than that in published books.
            
            I also reread my chapter twice and each dialogue is about one to four sentences. When Bonnie was replying to Lindsay's question, I admit that yeah, maybe I could've used body language or something to take a pause from the dialogue, but that is one instance in my chapter and no more.
            
            It would help if you could specifically give me examples because your feedback is kind of ambiguous, especially for the grammar part. I do not see anything wrong with my commas.
            
            Thank you for your feedback, it is appreciated.

@paristarr okay this is gonna be long but I wouldn't call this suggestions...but yeah. 
            
            So I've noticed you keep changing your writing style and you keep changing tense into fast and present tense and it's really hard to figure out what's happening. And also dialogue is in big paragraphs, which is what makes readers skip them because you don't use line breaks. It's cool if you wanna use paragraphs for descriptions or thought processing but dialogue must be separated. I'm saying this because it's kinda difficult to read. Also, I've noticed that, on a specific paragraph it was a long dialogue and that's not professional, if you want a character to speak for longer like explaining something, dialogue must also have paragraphs breaks. Like, when doing that make sure to show what the other person the character is talking to is doing..eg. their expression, body language. So it doesn't feel one sided. Also, you're grammar is a little weird. You put commas were not necessary and I feel like you can do better. 
            
            If you could fix all of that. Yeah! You're good to go. 

@MWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE you tooo!!

@paristarr YAY! HAPPY NEW YEAR <33333

@paristarr Ahhhb yess!!! Can't wait!

@paristarr OOOOOH,  I CAN'T WAIT