I honestly don't have much to say other than I've pretty much quit the internet and all socials except for discord and tiktok (But even so I'm not on there for any more than an hour now) and I'm thinking of deleting my account or abandoning it.
I've been mentally unwell for so long and instead of getting the help I needed, I relied on the internet for comfort, something a lot of people do without realising the dangers it puts them and their friends in. I've hurt a lot of people with this irl and online, I've been the victim and abuser and I've lost people I've loved the most due to it. However when I've realised it's time to apologise I've ended up loosing them. Anything before March 2025 coming from me is genuine pain. I was a monster, I'm trying to hard to separate myself from 2024 me. I joined the internet making myself think it would make me better, instead it made me worse. I'm leaving before I do anymore damage.
No I'm not ending it, I'm not pulling back that 6 month plan I made when I only had 5 people. I'm going to leave, most likely not come back, get coping mechanisms that actually work, I can be a better person. I want to get better for myself, the people I've lost, my favourite people, people I'm going to meet, people who have yet to love me and hate me. The world doesn't seem to love me and I don't really love it back, but maybe if I heal instead of putting salt in the gash I'll learn to love it.
Goodbye, I love you
