the thrilling donkey-on-the-edge folkstory that is thought to be my ife:
at age 5 i was rescued from a P I W camp in ulang-ulang by canibalistic satan worshipping nuns, they at first saw me as a source of good protein and started spicing me up for the pot. i then made peace with them and found a coconut that we shared alltogether. after that i set about my days teaching these ulang ulang style barbarians to primp, preen, read and  write for the ultimate goal-getting them ready for the civilised society of the ulang-ulang slums, one day after waxing, polishing, cutting and smoothing everything. i took them into town, long story short, they are now librarians, and engaged to be married on the 30th of febuary 2014 (the special ulangulang day.) i have since then moved to seattle, and am writing stories on whattpad in my spare time. (just thought you'd like to know.)