@petaldecay
" .. are you implying that your lands are flourishing by taking the energy from mine?"
@kntrlaw- // `` yes . `` he says truthfully and bluntly , arms crossing over his chest . `` it's not exactly something i can control or choose from . ``
"do you think .. " ragnar said quietly. "if I kissed you enough , you'd remember me by the touch my lips? as they do in fairy tales."
@kntrlaw- // `` didn't take you for a fairy tale kind of guy , ragnar . `` there was a slight tease to that , giving an awkward smile . `` we could .... give it a try . ``
"that — that is your / child / ! you cannot just .. use them like this?! this .. this is wrong , eryndor. how long have you been forcing this?"
@kntrlaw- // there was silence from eryndor at first , face falling from the usual playfulness he had . `` you act as if he were some helpless pawn . `` his eyes lifted towards ragnar with a strain look . `` i taught him . guided him . help shape the power so it would tear them or anyone up . ``
ragnar tensed but didn't move away — couldn't move any further at this point , really. he had backed himself into a literal corner. even so , he didn't try to deny the situation. " .. what are you up to , eryndor?"
@kntrlaw- // eryndor moved a step closer a finger tracing along the king's jaw before resting under his chin . `` im up to rather a lot as of lately , ragnar ... but this .. this is just another one of my visits to you . `` he gave an innocent look
“What? Following me now, are you? Not very smart of you I might say.”
/ late drop </3
"what are you talking about?" anger quickly filtered into his voice. "is this some type of joke , eryndor? why are you speaking to me as we did before? I thought .. " he thought things were different now. that / they / were different now.
the hatred he felt for this situation was never ending. it was a festering wound he had no means of healing. he couldn't do this — he felt fragile , something he so rarely felt. how did someone who so rarely dealt with his emotions solve such a complex thing?
"you are the one who said .. " ragnar had to take a slow breath. hearing it was hard enough — he knew repeating it would be even worse. despite this , he forced himself to look directly into eryndor's eyes. forced himself to keep some semblance of the mask he now wore. the smile stayed , fake glee in place. it was hard , even harder with the warmth from eryndor's hand. ragnar ran cold — the people of fimbulvetr often did. it made the other kings presence hard to ignore. "that you are not mine. you already voiced to the world that you would not pretend to be such a thing .. there is no need to go back on your word."
ragnar's eyes fluttered shut for a brief second. he soaked in the moment , pretended that everything was normal — that his world wasn't destroyed. with a sigh he pulled away from the hold , taking a slow step back. " .. I cannot survive another heartbreak , eryndor. should you give me hope and decide you do not want me , I do not think I'd survive." his eyes squinted as if he was amused at the aspect of that.
"leave." ragnar suddenly said , voice suddenly firm. "leave .. and should you still keep the same feeling come a week , then I will grant you your request. I just .. " he glanced away , the first crack forming in his mask. "I need you to be certain. should you come back before a week , I will throw you out. should you come after a week , I will personally torture you myself." his eyes narrowed and his smile widened.
after a moment of silence he continued. "this is not a negotiation. you don't wish to make me hide? then do this for me. allow me to regain my feeling of safety around you."
his thumb dragged across a drying tear track , slow and reverent . like he was afraid any sudden movement would break ragnar all over again . `` .. and for some reason that .. terrifies me more than death ever did . `` he let his hand fall , the confidence he felt for that draining now .
`` so don't smile at me like that , `` he whispered . `` i don't know who i was before to you . and i'm not going to try and give you false hope . not going to pretend since that would bring more pain . but i know i don't want to be the man who makes you hide ... `` why did he feel so vulnerable and emotional when it came to this man ? he didn't understand .. he didn't understand .. he wanted to understand . he wanted to clear that fuzz from his memories . some way .
`` help me remember .. `` he suddenly said his tone almost pleading , but clear . `` i want to remember . i want to understand these feelings . why i chosen you out of everyone else . `` he knew that was a big ask he was proposing for someone he saw, or he is supposed to see as an enemy . but some part of him felt desperate . `` please ... ``
@kntrlaw- // Eryndor watched the walls rise . or well how the other seemed to close-up , how the smile formed. the smile ragnar crafted was wrong .. too sharp , too practiced . it made eryndor's gut twist in a way he didn't understand . he had expected anger . he had expected shouting , or another shove , or for ragnar to storm away entirely . but this .. this quiet , awful retreat .. this was worse . that single tear had rattled him more than any blade to the throat ever could . `` ragnar ... `` he said , voice rougher than before — not loud , not commanding . human . cracked . `` don't do that . don't .. don't disappear behind that , `` he was stepping forward without fully realizing he was moving . `` i know that look . `` it was a look he had hidden before . plenty of times to hide his own pain . his hands hovered in the air , uncertain wanting to reach , terrified of touching . was he even allowed such a thing now ? or had he driven away what they had because he could not remember what they had ? he swallowed hard , fingers curling into fists before finally dropping back to his sides . ``you don't — you don't get to pretend i didn't see that . `` his jaw clenched , the fury was gone . so was the venom . what remain was fractured , uneven . a breath , a trembling breath . he takes one closer step and he reached out before the other could move away . he didn't care if this was selfish , some part of him felt like he had to do this . he reached , two fingers under ragnar's chin , gently lifting his face just enough to force him to meet his gaze .`` i don't remember loving you , `` eryndor confessed , each word a blade he seemed willing to fall on . `` but i can .. feel that i did . i know that probably doesn't make sense . hell it doesn't make sense to myself . but i still feel these things that i don't even understand why to . ``
"just because we have discovered this , doesn't mean you are obligated to touch me every chance you get." the king attempted to half heartedly remove the other's arms from around his waist. he wasn't putting up a real fight.
@kntrlaw- // `` hmmm , right . that's why you're leaning into the touch and all , right ? `` he raised a brow towards him . eryndor would give a small squeeze to ragnar's waist just to mess with him slightly . `` you don't fool me one bit , tough guy . ``
"I haven't an idea of what you're speaking of. I'm hating every second of this. you are practically holding me hostage." he glanced at eryndor briefly before looking away. it wasn't as if he , a king renowned for his cruelness , could admit to enjoy such a soft touch.
@kntrlaw- // `` apologies .. `` he hums out , eyes closing for a moment . `` you're enjoying this , why must you act like you hate it ? no one is here to judge . `` he questioned after a minute of silence , eyes opening once more . his head moving to look at ragnar from the side .
"what .. happened to you? your soul is all .. broken."
@frostalons- // there was a moment of silence before a sigh escaped the king . there really was no beating around the bush when it came to this kid .. was there ? `` what happens when you die and keep coming back . you lose yourself . `` he shared for once instead of trying to deflect .
"you can't lie about this. I know what I'm seeing. you've shattered yourself. it's as if .. you've been torn into multiple pieces."
"you care for him , don't you? even if you hide it behind all of your .. odd behavior." the prince grimaced a bit. "if you do , then help me save him."
@frostalons- // eryndor didn't know how to respond at first , pushing some hair from his face as he watched the prince . `` hmph...so what ? do i just continue to try and get closer to him ? `` he questioned
"hmmm but have the two of you not gotten closer — gotten closer to making physical contact? he's trusting you. my father has never done that before. do you realize how great of a feat this is?" the prince smiled and slightly bounced in place. "you're the perfect piece!"
@frostalons- // `` how am I to help save someone under a control like that ? i can't even touch him , y'know . `` as much as he didn't mind dying , a part of him didn't want to keep losing more of himself .
"it's not / that / absurd to ask you to aid me in overthrowing my own kingdom , is it?"
@frostalons- // `` hmm... `` the sound coming out thoughtful as he listened to the boy . `` no need for bribery , if there's a chance to take her down , im in . ``
"my kingdom betrayed me first , I owe the queen nothing." they scowled as they spoke of her. despite their blood relation , he held no affection for her. "wonderful! I think I'd have to resort to bribery , so this is great!"
@frostalons- // `` i think the only absurd part is your betraying your own kingdom .. im in either way . ``