Ogedegbe26

Wow! The suspense is killing me. After the the first chapter, I couldn't stop reading it. The elaborate narrative style is good. However, call me old fashion but I think some parts, especially Part 3 and 4, could get more content. For example: How was Georgie coping with the whole situation? Did he panic or did he  try to stay calm? Did Abby's mom lose it and lash out on the kids? Did the cat bring Abby comfort?
          Secondly, you could leave somethings to be discovered by the readers in between dialogues. Like the name of the cat.
          Also, you were really shifting between tones and tenses. I noticed how you used past tenses and present tenses. Maybe using Microsoft Word might help. And the way the protagonist's name was introduced made it sound like a high school speech or tale... something like that. You could reveal the protagonist's name in the dialogues. Although, it's YOUR story and narrative. 
          P. S. Teen fiction is another tag you could use for the book. Again, it's YOUR story.

Beauvear

Hello pi! 
          
          I have read your comment from my story, I'll make sure to find time to read your book hehe as of the moment I'm currently loaded with school works. I know I'm no professional, I'm a Filipina, and English is not my first language, but I'll do my best to give my advice and my criticisms! 
          
          Do you have any socials? I'll reach out to you once I have insights about your book. My ig username is still the same with my penname here on Wattpad :))