barriers

Could somebody read my book and tell me what they think about it?

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I sat there watching TV when my phone bleeped. It was Ellie! Hey sis... I know you've just come back and you've got a lot to deal with but I really need to see you. x. 
          
          I can't believe she's asking me this. As soon I've come back home. I'd just broken up with Will. We were together for 7 months. I LOVED him. he broke my heart. That's why I fled from Manchester in the first place. 
          
          "I can't see you right now Ellie. Why can't you tell me over the phone?" It wasn't nothing serious was it? I hope she's really OK... maybe I should go and see her.. "on my way.." I texted her. 
          
          I got to the cafe. Why was she crying.. I think I knew what this was about. 
          "Don't cry sis.. come here..Did you see Sam?" She cried even more. Poor thing.
          
          "I saw him with someone else and it crushed me. It hurt." She wiped away her tears. And I was the honest one... 
          
          (This is one I'm carrying on with and it's based on coronation Street☺ You can be honest if you don't like it) x