pineapples_lmao

if i randomly leave and never come back, I AM NOT DEAD. i probably ran away from my problems and didn't want to face them ever again. and just because i leave, doesn't mean i hate you. it just was my time to leave and move on. please respect that :)

anonymous18373

@somniumhours i think of him often too  he really did have a special impact, at least on us three. i hope he comes back too, but it's hard to stay hopeful when it's been this long
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teIomeres

@anonymous18373 i think of james everyday man. it's crazy how none of us has talked to him in years but he's still on our minds sometimes. he made that much of an impact on us.
          	  
          	  i hope he comes back one day just to say hi.
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anonymous18373

@pineapples_lmao i like to imagine someday you'll come back here and read everything the three of us wrote to you, and we'll get a chance to talk to you one more time in this lifetime
          	  
          	  wishful thinking? probably. but you never know
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teIomeres

i turned 19 two weeks ago. i also broke up with my girlfriend and quit my job a month and a half ago. things felt like they were just getting worse, and i self destructed. surprisingly though, after it all, i felt a lot better. im feeling better. it's like a weight lifted off of me and i can finally breath. 
          
          i write a little more now. not as much as I used to, nor with the same skill, but it is a small step, and im better.
          
          hope you're doing well james  <3

teIomeres

little  update,  i  got  a  girlfriend.  our  one  month  is  tomorrow,  actually.  its..  really  stressful,  honestly.  ive  never  really  had  a  relationship  and  she's  a  little  overwhelming,  especially  since  i  haven't  worked  through  my  trauma,  but  i  love  her  (?)  and  want  to  try  and  make  things  work.  we're  complete  opposites,  she's  high  maintenence  and  im  so  low  maintenance  we  could  stop  talking  for  6  months  and  come  back  in  and  i  might  not  have  even  noticed.  anyways,  i  hope  you're  well.

teIomeres

your birthday is in 17 days. i think you'll be 21. it's been 5 years since we met. we've both done so much growing, and i know that means we're not in each other's lives anymore, but as you can see, i still think about you. ive grown up a lot and so have you, though as you grew you drifted away. i never let go. i suppose i should as well, but i just can't seem to stop myself from finding my way back. you were one of the only people i had in the darkest time of my life, and i thank you for that. you were meant to be there with me then, but for no longer than that. sometimes i get flashbacks of conversations we used to have, and then i scroll down your board and see how cringe i was, lol. 
          
          
          
          im different now. better. i don't feel much better, but im in a much healthier place than i was when we met. and you helped me to stay distracted from what was happening around me and to me. i was just 13, experiencing something no child should. you helped me branch out and find things that i loved, like anime and roleplaying. (that's still cringe, but in that time, it was my escape.) you were a 16 year old boy with a life of your own. you didn't have to stick around and be my friend. but you did. i can't thank you enough for that. thank you, james, for being my friend. i don't know how much longer I'll be around for, but i hope you know that during your absence, ive never stopped thinking about you. 
          
          happy early birthday <3 i hope the next year treats you well. and maybe you'll find your way back here, if only to say hi.