pinkrubberduckieee

yo can i talk to someone? i dont think i can talk to my friends abt it but its ok.
          i was feeling really bad especially the past 4 or 5 months and made some really bad choices...

Yayyyyy it’s new years
          Also does anyone else say bunny rabbit on the first day of a month for good luck?

I feel like im dreaming bc im wearing a fluffy quilted oversized jacket with the hood on and i have a heating patch for period cramps and im eating spaghetti with nothing on it while drinking a sprite just watching no im not a human videos while my hair is curling in my curling headband 
          my face is glassy like its not greasy shiny it’s glassy shiny 
          avocado sheet mask <3

my period cramps are so bad rn like I can barely stand up and hold a spoon to take my ibuprofen and I feel rlly nauseous from the pain it hurts so much

I wanna sit in a corner so bad like my mom kinda said I’m a little annoying and said that she doesn’t have the time for doing every little thing for me which is kinda just saying she doesn’t have the time for me
          both my parents have somewhat short tempers but my mom is normally in a worse, slightly more annoyed mood. 
          Often when I’m talking abt something she cuts me off and I feel rlly insignificant and often my mom is making fun of or saying somewhat bad stuff abt my dad
          I mean it would be nice if she could just not get that annoyed sometimes bc it feels like it’s all my fault and i just rlly wanna punish myself sometimes (i think im fine, i go to counseling) the worse stuff has stopped, now I kinda just scratch or pen or rubber band.
          I want strawberry milk so bad 
          And it feels bad when I’m sad bc I feel like I’m not valid to be sad and I deserve all the pain and I deserve the most painful death physically possible and it’s like I don’t actually even feel sad bc it just feels like I’m supposed to be sad bc I don’t feel anything bad abt myself at this point. It feels so being so now it just feels so good to imagine murdery stuff that I would never to bc I have to kinda keep this good image that people know me see. Kinda like I would do certain stuff to people to get smth I what but I wouldn’t bc im playing in de long run to get smth I want even more
          I really love strawberry milk pls gimme strawberry milk I need it strawberry milk pls strawberry milk

My throat hurts so much and I have period cramps and the bottom of my foot hurts when I walk and so I’m limping and I’m so overstimulated and I wanna be cuddled and I don’t wanna eat anything bc it hurts worse 
          Food feels so gross and everything seems so oily rn

I’ve eaten nothing today except for white rabbit candy and hawthorn thingy
          I just ate like at least a kilogram of watermelon oh it hurts the pain
          this is normallllll im fineeee

I wanna commit an illegal bc I was given NOODLES WITH VEGETABLES
          VEGETABLES
          normally I like vegetables but I WANTED PLAIN NOODLES. I DID NOT ASK FOR VEGETABLES 
          AND THERES NO SAUCE TO FLAVOR IT
           JUST BOILED VEGETABLES THAT MAKE THE NOODLES TASTE LIKE WATER AND WEIRD TOFU STUFF
          I HATE THIS WORLD I HATE EVERYONE I HOPE EVERYTHING BURNS EXCEPT STRAWBERRY MILK

Hey. I'm js here to let you know that you can always talk to me. My message board is always open and I'm always here to listen. Take care of yourself, okay?

@0VentiCaramelFrappe0