Am I a good person? No
Do I go out of my way to be the best that I can be? Nope
Am I extremely attractive? Not even 

But I am the cousin thrice removed of couch potato 
The name is pitiful potato and this potato shall continue to fulfill its pitiful role until the day it is made into French fries and served with ketchup 

I so solemnly swear that I've never been up to good but down for bad 🧗‍♀️