pixy106

I stopped receiving "similar stories " is it just me? I deleted the app then downloaded it,  still the same.
          What do I do???

In the past, I didn't have much friends, like 4 friends, the rest of my class just were hurtful towards others, and I was at the end of the stick multiple times, nobody knows that it hurt, hurt too much, I had to ignore it, but that was a really bad decision, I had alot of time thinking about it, I graduated not that long ago, like a 2 years ago, (which im really grateful for, i dont have to see them again), and I didn't get the marks that I was supposed to get or wanted, but I made it, I got into a profession that is OK, I mean it's not that big of a deal, even if it's not what I wanted, I still had it on my list. I wanted something to do with tech, my parents didn't agree to that, even after begging, they still refused, they decided on this specific profession because it was most suitable for "me".
          I accepted, then everything went down hill, the university that I wanted rejected me, I had to sign for another, which again, since I got rejected, they decided on the university, I don't like it, I didn't say anything, if you see the pattern, I'm always silent, I don't complain, just sit pretty and let it roll. 
          I'm getting even more bottled up each day, and I woundercwho is going to be on the other side of my emotional outbreak. I hope it's not my family....
          
          Jeez I went full out, sorry
          This is the rest

I can't describe what my feeling are.... but with time, they keep switching, 1st I would be OK, next is I'm really tired, then I'm sad, you know, my feelings are everywhere. 
          I can't have time to myself, because I'm scared, I try to keep myself occupied, to stay on earth if you know what I mean, otherwise I just zone out and my thoughts would just leave to somewhere I don't want them to leave, I get that I should sometimes just let it all go, and feel my real emotions, but I'm scared, most times I like to keep to myself, other times I want someone but there is nobody there, I almost passed out because I didn't eat for 2 days, but I just didn't have the appetite, mom forced me to eat something, I did.... I mean what was I supposed to do.
           
          I couldn't post the rest, something about too much characters

Does anyone know the feeling of where there is nothing left, just numbness, and you lose motivation for everything, God, I used to be very hyper and read alot, now reading just doesn't have the same feeling as before, and life just became bland, I tried to fix it and tried to read and get myself back together, it's not working, now im sleeping all day and just not do anything, and i stopped eating.... i keep skipping breakfast and i just keep skipping dinner too until i just cant, my parents haven't seen the difference in me i think they didn't, my college keeps postponing it's start because of what's happening in the country, and there is nothing to take my mind off of my feeling and I just keep going down and down, and tbh.. I don't know what's happening, i have no reason to feel this way,I don't have anyone to rant to, so I'm just going to start to use this here, maybe it will help, I'll probably chicken out and just delete it i  the end....