lil update:
so rn i have had a continuous headache since wednesday, i’m sick af, and i’m really lonely and i just want hugs T.T
my friend won’t be at school monday, and i’m so scared that people are gonna attack me more cause we’re not there to protect each other
i’m scared that i might go into little space during school, she usually helps keep me out but she won’t be at school
and we have another circle tuesday to try n solve the ‘drama’ that really is just threats and jealousy. the girls lied through the entire circle on friday, yet my friends, my avid teacher(he’s helping my friends and i through this rn, and trying to solve the drama as well) and i told the truth. i feel left out from nearly everything, and i can’t bring myself to try and assert myself. i always get so jealous and overprotective when i see (f it, her name is caley) other people fawning over her and when she cries(a lot in the past few days) it makes my heart twist up and i hate when she covered her scars on friday because she’s so beautiful and her scars are too, it shows that she’s strong enough to make it through her hardships. she’s bi, and she told me the ‘liked’ me but neither of us can actually show the fact we love each other because of the homophobic ahebshsnsns happening and bcuz of our parents. and i cry myself to sleep almost every night, all this is too much and i can rant all i want but no one really cares except for caley, and i can’t tell her all this, which is even worse
kay goodnight now i might try to write and blow off steam but i have frickin writer’s block and i can’t seem to focus on anything but caley and other crap in the past few days
