Hope you all have a lovely day/holiday, new chapters tonight, because writing is the way I’m finding peace right now.
Now, I have a more personal message—don’t read if you will be uncomfortable:
The holidays are not a good time for me. For the first time, I am spending them alone. It may seem depressing to some, but I promise this is my good ending. Just last year around this time, I was in an extremely terrible relationship that almost cost me my life—and isolated me from everyone I cared about. My family made it known I truly wasn’t of use to them anymore—unless I was giving them things to benefit them. The reason holidays have sucked so much in the past is because I never a traditional one, my family too deep into their addictions to have money for anything. Soon as I started working at 15, they took from me every chance they could and I was always the one providing for the small things I could for our holidays.
My DV issues and family issues have bled into this year of course, but this was also the year I put my foot down. Because of my abus3r, I fell hard into my own addictions and depression. Addiction runs in the family, right? I was h1gh or drunk every single day. I decided all of that had to stop. I went sober, no contact with family, pressed charges on my ex. Once again, a holiday alone may seem sad to some. But I promise, this quiet and peace is what I needed all along. I’ve been trying to give more to others, donating to charities and giving whenever I could. I’m doing things that make me feel good like writing again. Thank you all for sticking by me, you all are a big reason I’m doing better. I truly can’t thank you all enough, whether we are friends or you are just someone whose stories I enjoy (or if you’re just a fan of my crazy worlds somehow lol). If it’s a tough time for you too—give yourself some grace. Do things that make you feel happy no matter how small. I am here if you need.
