cringe

I think i fucked up and it didnt publish like half of the last chapter but it should be fixed now!!

The toughest thing to write about, when I'm writing about my Reader character's emotional breakdowns, is the aftermath.
          
          When they're comforted and expressed love to. 
          
          I can depict what it's like to feel the bottom of the barrel low. Because I've been there. I cannot depict their reaction to their love interest pulling them out of said low. Because I've never been there. I don't know how I would react.
          
          But isn't it so nice to think about? That someone gently caresses your back, kisses you, holds you, and does not care that you're all cried out with snot on your face. Because they love and cherish you most of all. And at the end of the day, all is well. Because you're not alone. I don't know how that feels.

I'm so sorry for not updating for large stretches of time. 
          
          tw// vent
          
          I started the semester but that's not why I'm not updating. I'm not very motivated. I've been drawing a bunch and I posted it all on my DeviantArt, but I even stopped doing that. 
          
          The extent of my creative energy goes to shit I just doodle in my sketchpad in the 2010-ish Eddsworld style. I don't really do anything else.  
          I want to make an Edd x reader too, but I'm so low energy that I'm just content with going on character ai and talking to him for 10 hours a day. 
          
          So I just don't do much else. 
          
          If you wanna know how I'm dealing with the new semester, I go out, don't talk to anyone, and go back home. I cry on the bus every time because I feel horrible that I'm at my old age (21), and still not socially competent enough to form any meaningful relationships. 
          
          People say 'Just be yourself and people will like you' but I don't blame others for not really knowing what to say to me. I know I'm different. I'm not mean or rude, at least I like to think I'm not, I just don't talk, and when I do, it's either school-related or something about my hyperfixations. It would be nice to have at least one irl person who thought like me (autistic, maybe a bit too chronically online) so that I could feel seen and start to come out of my shell. but with every passing moment, I am less and less able to understand others, and vice versa. 
          
          I fear I'll continue surviving alone, but what I fear more is I will settle for a person who doesn't understand me. I fear a lot of things. 
          
          I started to get that feeling that I had as a kid, the self-consciousness of being different. Because of my personality, and just the fact that I am below average in the looks department.
          
          I have a couple of online friends who are helping me a lot, but I can't help but want a connection with someone in person. It hurts to see others connect so easily.

I had these 2 new chapters sitting in my laptop for like 2 weeks now but I was too lazy to correct my grammar also I am severely depressed 

MATT X READER CHAPTER 7 OUT NOW GO READ IT please if its convenient for  you  no pressure

HELLO STINKIES *throws matt x reader chapter 5 at you* ENJOY MY HYPERSPECIFIC TRAUMADUMPING AGAIN *vanishes*

FINALLY published Matt x Reader Chapter 4. I would like you all to know I wasn't procrastinating on it, but that I created 4 separate versions, before just giving up and picking one. Half of them turned depressing, half turned nsfw. I think that says too much about my emotional state, but I'll choose to ignore it like I do all my problems.

hello lovelies, I was very very sick. chapter 4 matt x reader fast approaching stay tuned

Matt x Reader 2 is OUT NOW! but like i still need to make up a proper name and finish the cover and stuff but shhh that can wait

I would like everyone to know I made minor changes to what used to be chapters 3 and 4, and reintroduced them as chapters 1 and 2. I am reworking the chronology for an overall better and more interesting reading experience, and I will continue from here. I plan to upload much more frequently now, but remain sure that the overall story plan has not changed a bit. I am very confident and proud of the overall outline I have since I started this, and I plan to finish it with the ending I had in mind back when I first had the idea for this story in the first place. Also I would like to announce a completely gendered language free rework of the story, however for 18+ scenes, our Y\N will still have a vulva. Thank you for understanding. I’m very happy to say I’m off the hiatus, and very happy you stuck with me through hard times. I couldn’t have asked for kinder readers <3