@princesswho93
Hi guys! There's been a delay in plans and in writing due to my mental health issues. I was in a very, very dark place in my depression and I had to go to a mental illness hospital. And I had to spend a few days there in order for me to be prepared to face the world again. But I'm feeling better. I'm not 100% but I can truly say I'm getting there. I'm currently working on a one shot that's related to kpop
I'm going to take a little break due to my mental health/depression. I've known for a long time that I have lost my sense of purpose, and I want to find it again, since I can't self harm. I have to do this alone since I don't have irl friends anymore. I have to figure out a lot of things about my life.
I really, really, really really (infinity) hate having to say I'm sorry so many times, but again I'm super duper duper sorry. I still have this pain in my leg and when I get like this it's very hard to concentrate on anything and tbh I'm getting depressed again and that's not good for the pain either. I effing despise this >:( And I'm getting tired of apologizing and I'm sure you guys are getting tired of reading the same thing over and over again.
I want to write, write, write but unfortunately reality punches me in the face to remind me I got stuff to do #dontwannadostuff #justwrite #formyreaders
Literally crying #yugiohfeels
I was going to work on the James McAvoy requests, but unfortunately I'm having another pain crisis >.< And I ran out of painkillers :'( uuugghhhh this is so frustrating. I've been wanting to work on the requests for a month now but this damn Sickle Cell keeps getting in the way (for the ones who don't know what sickle cell disease is it's a blood condition in which my red blood cells are shaped like a crescent, my blood is thicker than usual and I get these really really bad sharp pain).
Hey guys. I wanted to apologize for falling behind on the James McAvoy requests (and to everyone who were counting on me to do their JM requests). I promise to get to them as soon as I'm feeling better.I'll get right on them. I've just been in a lot a lot of pain for the longest time and it's been really distracting.
I've reached a point in my depression where I'm clawing my way through each day. I find it very hard to get up from my bed and do my daily activities. I talked to my therapist about...my desire to..end my existence (it was the hardest thing I've ever done because I hate asking for help), and we sign a no self-harm contract. Now I don't know what else to do to numb the pain.
@princesswho93 Wow what an amazingly brave thing to do! My daughter went through the same thing only very recently - I know how hard that is. But talking about it is the absolute best thing you can do. I am so proud for you. It might feel like not much in a sea of despair but believe me it isn't. There are people there to help, just ask for it even when you think you can't just keep asking. Just keep talking. Ring up help lines, talk to those who love you and to your therapist. Put your thoughts here. You've started now, keep going! You are stronger than you think and people care more than you know. And would be devastated without you. My girl asked who would care if she wasn't here and we sat down and honestly talked about who and what the affects would be. You matter even when you think you don't!! Just do one little thing a day and be proud of that. If that's getting out of bed and brushing your hair or doing an assignment or ringing a friend. When you are as sick with depression those aren't little achievements they are huge! Believe me. Huge.
Hey peoples. Since I don't have school tomorrow, I can try to update/rewrite a James McAvoy one-shot. (Sorry if I'm not making much sense, I still have a lot on my mind and it's hard to...do anything to be honest).
I've decided not to delete my account. Thank you so much for all your support. It means the world to me. You guys mean a lot to me (even if I don't know you that well, but I'm going to try to change that). I admit, I'm still having trouble with some dark thoughts/depression but you guys showed me that I'm not alone. Love you guys <3
@princesswho93 I'm happy with your decision darlin. If you feel like that again, you know where to turn too :3
