what a baller

ignore anything I've ever said I'm a changed woman okay

i shove wine down my throat to see what it's like speaking through a voice like yours.
          
          i suck on cigarettes with my lips to feel what it's like to have rotten lugs like yours.
          
          i carve out my eyes with my fingernails to have eyes that see a dark world like yours
          
          i saw my hands off to feel not be able to feel anything and have hands like yours. 
          
          i spit on my children to have a heart just like yours

hey i was abused and burnt with a cigarette by my dad. i went to the hospital because a bottle of alcohol was broken on my head. i have a scar of ten stitches across my stomach. i lived in a abusive household for 16 years while my dad did who knows what to my siblings and mother. but i still think the world is great. i still know there are kind people out there, i still believe ill get better and other can too. i still find each person i come across beautiful before i speak a word to them. i still hope for the best. i still love myself. i still forgive myself. i still want to be happy. i still know its a choice. i still love the world. i still know i will see beauty everywhere one day. but i am sorry  for that because i should give my father what he deserves apparently. because i am in the right to do that thing. because i am the goddam president of course i have the power to choose what people deserve. give everyone death regardless of what i know about them. a rebel? dam him you know. sorry i was ever so dumb to be grateful. i am selfish. how egotistic of me to forgive people when they havent even said sorry.

lol when u were pissed af bc you were reminded of sth and you realize youre kind of emotional

its funny how if you are a happy person ppl expect your life to be perfect. like you can only have gone through shit if you see the world as cruel and unruly. sorry im optimistic i guess? and im sorry i still believe in the right thing even though i never get the same treatment? do i wear a sign that says yeah ive been through hell so people know that i live in the same world as them. do i need a shirt that says im torn apart too so people know that even broken people can see the earth as a good place bc they want to be happy. am i at fault here? am i wrong to think people deserve chances though i am ripped everytime i do? is it really that bad to trust someone? are morals not right??

ppl are so pretty wow

EMUNE - GRETCHEN AND SALAMI ROSE ARE SO GOOD MURDER ME

wow what a day man. i  had like 2 tests.

but like y jimin