Proud

my birthday is tomorrow and im excited

Aaaaaaa im eating ramen noodles 

Hey, so i probably wont be making any chapters for a while cause ontop of all the stress going on for me, i just lost my older cousin tyler to suicide. He was like a big brother to me and i just need time to process that hes gone. So please bare with me.

Haha yo, how was yalls halloweens? Mine was fun i got candy, i actually enjoyed it so thats good, i woke up at 3 am this morning and have been up since so ill be out like a light in a few hours probs lol

Hnnghhhh

Still hurting mentally and cant do the thing that makes me happy, and im almost out of my meds so thats great 

When
          When sick
          Haha help me

Tw before reading this.
          Im sorry for coming here to vent again but i cant keep it in, im so sick of having to hear the same shit over and over again, that goes for hearing it from a few people, my grandma is the main one though, im fucking sick of everything and pretty much everyone except for the few people that keep my life together, i want to fucking relapse, i found razors in the garage with my grandpas work stuff, i was so close to getting one and relapsing but im trying not to, i just really wanna die, ive been having thoughts of taking all my anxiety pills at once so i can just die but i cant bring myself to do it cause i love my friends and my gf too much, im fucking hurting, im hurting as much as i was hurting when i was friends with shizuka, i wish it would just stop, im so tired and drained, not to mention my asthma has gotten worse the past week due to the weather transition from summer weather to fall weather so ive had to do my nebulizer once already and have woke uo 2 mornings in a row having to do my inhaler, im also really guilty for not getting any chapters out, i was gonna write a chapter about americas ed but its been in my drafts for over a month and i cant bring myself to finish it, i was also gonna write a new chapter in a sad story but i cant motivate myself, so im really sorry for that, thats it for now, ill probably be back venting again but im not sure

I wanna cry haha i love womanhood dont all my other ladies love womanhood? I hate moodswings.

Ok so im like, very bored right now, idk what to do i kinda wanna play roblox? But i dont at the same time, i really wanna roleplay but my gf is doing online classes rn (Yes babe i know your probably reading this hi hello angel) and nobody else is online right now so yeh i may draw eliza hamilton / schuyler since i drew angelica a few days ago