psycsyh

After I finished work today I decided to go look at the jewelry store in the mall and guys I found my dream engagement ring. It’s 333$ I want it so bad. It’s so pretty. Like genuinely I can’t stop thinking about this ring. 
          	
          	I’ve never thought I’d be a marriage kind of person but I can genuinely see a future with my boyfriend and so if he ever proposed I hope it’s with this ring or something similar

psycsyh

After I finished work today I decided to go look at the jewelry store in the mall and guys I found my dream engagement ring. It’s 333$ I want it so bad. It’s so pretty. Like genuinely I can’t stop thinking about this ring. 
          
          I’ve never thought I’d be a marriage kind of person but I can genuinely see a future with my boyfriend and so if he ever proposed I hope it’s with this ring or something similar

psycsyh

Lowkey been obsessed with the zombies movies recently. I have the 4th one to watch, then I’ve watched them all and I’m already mourning the end 
          
          Gosh do I hope they make more these horrible amazing movies. They are so bad. The plots, the songs, the acting, the characters but man do I love them.

psycsyh

The baby fever- NOOOO 
          
          I don’t want children
          I don’t want kids
          I don’t want a baby
          I’m to selfish for a kid
          I’m to lazy for a kid
          I like my free time
          I like not being needed
          I like my money
          I want to travel 
          I don’t want kids
          
          Why do I keep day dreaming about having kids ;-;

psycsyh

Tis very awkward putting your two weeks in an and then saying nvm…
          
          Definitely not something I have to do later today. It’s approved my managers, we have a new agreement I just got to tell my boss that her bosses says I can have one shift a month so I stay on payroll just incase something goes wrong at my new job lmao.

psycsyh

this message may be offensive 
I am hungover and feel so fucking nauseous it’s not even funny. I got sick all over my floor last night and can’t even sit up because of how nauseous I am so it’s just kind of sitting there… all over my dirty laundry, belt and headphones ;-;
          
          Also there is a half eaten croissant on my bed don’t know why. I hope to finish it later after my mom comes home with the gravol I asked her to buy me.
          
          I went years bro, years without trowing up. I have had suck bad illnesses it’s not even funny and still didn’t trow up. Until last night where when I found myself sobering up I decided to have more and well. It’s all over my floor.
          
          I got lost while writing that. I am just complaining about trowing up. Which I just did again while writing. Adding more to my collection on the floor. When my mom gets home I’ll get her to grab me something to get sick in so when I manage to clean it up I don’t need to reclean my floor immediately.

psycsyh

I got sick again :(
            
            I was trying to do the laundry cause I got sick all over my laundry last night and well… now it’s all over to laundry room floor.
            
            Well that’s not true, it’s all cleaned up, so is my room. Well I’ll want to clean it up again tmr, cause it was a rushed job. But it’s wiped up and cleaned up enough. 
            
            I want to shower and brush my teeth so bad but I can’t cause then I’ll throw up. I have my stop watch on cause once 3 hours hit of not getting sick I’m eating plain rice. I was gonna add butter to it so it’s less bland but google says the fat in butter might upset my stomach again. They said I can add soya sauce but I don’t think I can handle soya sauce.
            
            Also is it soya or soy sauce? Like I hear everyone say soya but the bottle says soy and then there are a few that say soya but I know it’s the same product. Or at least I think so.
            
            Okay I googled it. Soy is the us spelling, soya is the uk spelling. Canada weird cause we use both. Wait I’m going to my ranting book cause I gotta
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psycsyh

Tho on the bright side I don’t feel nauseous anymore. So imma take advantage of that rn and clean as much as I can before it comes back
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psycsyh

Oh how did I quit using TikTok? Oh, well some how every time I open the app even if I make new accounts I get damp/2020 era of stuff and then when those few specific people pop up I break. It’s always those comfort duos, Bench trio, Tubbo and Ranboo (can’t remember the name), crime boys, techno (alone or with anyone tbh). 
          
          Sob. Straight sobbing.
          
          Today I went on cause my hair looks good and some times I like to make and post privately videos of me lip singing cause sometimes pictures isn’t enough and I was scrolling to find a song/ out of boredom and it’s started with Slime popping up and I was like “okay but no more pls” and then the muffin song and that brought back memories. Then a video of Tommy and Wilbur singing? Closed the app. Not going back for another few months guys. Can’t do it. 
          
          Lots of my life is still surrounded by this faze of my life, like I still write fanfiction of Tommy in it to help me sleep. I’m still in his discord server, my life brights up a bit when some random thing of a few specific people pop up and I learn how they’re doing. Like Niki, Ranboo, tubbo, Tommy. 
          
          I still feel comfort from that time part of why is because I can’t move on to the last faze that truly brought me comfort, part of it is because it was my life for so long, but also it was the last time I was a kid. When I started getting in to the whole thing I was losing my childhood to an illness and tommyinnit reminds me so much of who I was before this illness took my life and he helped prolong its life. But those specific ones they hurt hard.