Alex Silves

look... i know its been a while, a really long while... i am still writing, slowly, very slowly, but i am planning a complete overhaul of the one story im writing or simply delisting it and tinkering with it over time as i work on a more interesting story and follow a story board, but its all unlikely for a while
          
          i'll be honest... getting momentum is not easy for me and with problems the uk faces right now, i have to prioritize other things, thank you yo those who take the time to read.

i remember u

im going to be blunt, i am out of momentum on the hunting hero, im not burned out, its just that i have had to put up with too many pathetic idiots in recent times and since im not mentally built to handle people, i get tipped off any time i try to get momentum, so im putting it on hold till later next year
          
          on a side note, i am going to do a smaller but easier book that is more of a screw around and a mental exercise to manually build up momentum quicker and without getting sent into a downward spiral too easily, i write with momentum, but since my momentum comes to me, i can't make any further progress without ruining it, i do apologise for that

you know, i think its high time i tell people how i operate
          
          follow facts and you have my interest
          
          follow opinion and you have my ire
          
          blindly follow opinion without even try to prove it, you earn my hate
          
          plain and simple
          
          however there is extensions
          such as
          respect my boundary and remain distant, and you'll find me neutral
          
          try to get close and be perceived a threat to be dealt with
          
          try to help me and you WILL be dealt with
          
          i personally don't care about being respected, but respect those boundaries and i will stay neutral, i'd rather be alone than at risk

"Slow down you grave robbing bastard
          Stop right there i hear the constable scream
          Slow down you grave robbing bastard
          If they think they're gonna catch me
          They're all in a dream
          Digging in the graveyard, late at night,
          I need to boil up the bones
          A crowd of locals heading my way
          Why can't they leave me alone
          (They're all shouting at me)
          Slow down you grave robbing bastard
          Stop right there i hear the constable scream
          Slow down you grave robbing bastard
          If they think they're gonna catch me
          They're all in a dream
          Can't a poor boy work in peace
          I need to make me a shilling
          I sell my wares to the doctors in town
          They couldn't be more willing
          Slow down you grave robbing bastard
          Stop right there i hear the constable scream
          Slow down you grave robbing bastard
          If they think they're gonna catch me
          They're all in a dream
          (Mid viii) pick up my shovel and run
          No time to act tough
          Coppers running fast
          But the long arm of the law ain't long enough
          (So he's shouting at me)
          Slow down you grave robbing bastard
          Stop right there i hear the constable scream
          Slow down you grave robbing bastard
          If they think they're gonna catch me
          They're all in a dream
          Solo
          Dead is dead, but coin is coin,
          And now it's pissing down with rain
          I don't know what all the fuss is about,
          You don't hear the corpses complain
          Slow down you grave robbing bastard
          Stop right there i hear the constable scream
          Slow down you grave robbing bastard
          If they think they're gonna catch me
          They're all in a dream
          Slow down you grave robbing bastard
          Stop right there i hear the constable scream
          Slow down you grave robbing bastard
          If they think they're gonna catch me
          They're all in a dream
          Slow down you grave robbing bastard
          Stop right there i hear the constable scream
          Slow down you grave robbing bastard
          If they think they're gonna catch me
          They're all in a dream"
          
          song by the meteors, is good https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7U45OPR3e4E

small heads up, keep an eye out for a user by the username JadedSilverLining, they are basically going and trying to start fights, they are the idiot i mentioned in  previous post, i didn't want to mention names, but at this point, they need to be dealt with extreme prejudice, people who can't handle basic observations and someone who is extremely blunt and who fly off the handle the moment someone says something that clashes with they're opinion should not be allowed on a site like this

just met an idiot who decided to start shit after not liking being corrected, but i mean, it took me 10 mins to find the information, i love cold hard facts, i hate and despise those who go by opinion and refuse to check they're facts, this idiot decided to try and play me the idiot, so i acted in kind and treated them as one, if they don't like it then fine, i do not and will never give respect out on a silver platter, and the thing is, i do not expect to be respected, i personally hate being given respect on a silver platter, why some may ask, well its simple, anyone and i mean ANYONE who gives respect on a silver platter is up to something and has ulterior motives and thats not paranoia, thats over a decade of experience, im getting tired of people like that, i draw them in, like a moth to a flame, im not good people, i know that, i know for a fact, the last time i played nice guy and tried to not give in, it broke me, besides, why should i play nice when even if i opened with common curtsey, they still try to pin the blame on me, and 9 times out of 10, they succeed, so that brings me to one question, do i even have a good reason to play nice? sadly that just opens up so many questions with no discernible answers and im getting tired of asking myself them, its why i ditched discord, makes one wonder, is this life or living hell, then again, i bet hell beats this place, a lot of people make the mistake of thinking im some "high and mighty prick" when in actuality im just extremely blunt, its not exactly possible for a suicidal shell like me to have a superiority complex, im highly self aware, sure, but im blunt about it, i have a self hate complex, i won't deny it, i mean it doesn't exactly take a genius to tell that being suicidal and regularly over dosing is partly out of self hate, in case i wasn't obvious enough, its not exactly unusual or unheard of either, last i checked, its extremely common
          
          so i ask myself, how?, i look, i see, and find nothing...

Hey alucard i found father anderson

you know, i ponder upon many things, one of those many things i ponder upon is why people pretend to want to be friends, why people try getting close to folks like me and pretend, why they choose not to be upfront about what they really want, very few things truly enrage me in life, people not being upfront and blunt about what they want, trying to manipulate to gain what they seek however, that, that enrages me, i've spent the better part of 10 years trying to figure out why so many try it with me...not once have i come close to a viable answer, nor do i think i will ever find an answer, i grew weary of it, i grew weary of those who tried to get close to me, i grew tired of trying, i grew tired of trying to make "friends".
          
          
          i say this because in recent times, far too many people tried getting close to me, i had a few "friends"...now there is none, for i cut ties, i ask, why? why do people try to make a "friend" of me? why when all i do is to drive them away, no matter how clear i make it that i don't want friends, why do they keep trying?
          
          im an aroace, people often stereotype that they will die alone and a virgin.
          
          however, im the type of aroace who dies alone in more than 1 way and for good reason.
          people often refer to me as "emo" and "depressed", in reality, im a pessimistic realist who gave up, one who learned the hard way, a common pessimistic realist, that means im not a natural pessimistic realist, it means i was made a pessimistic realist
          
          what i want people to know is, im a heart of ice, a heart of frozen pitch, i don't want "friends" i don't want to be remembered, i don't even want love, what i want, is cold hard facts, i want people to be upfront and not even consider trying to be "friends" with me

i want to make something clear, many think of me as a stereotypical atheist, all guns blazing against religion without rhyme or reason....this is false, i don't mark a group as an enemy without damned good reason, im tired of religious wackjobs trying to convert me, im tired of them preaching to me and defend they're religion to the point they start with cheap insults, i have had enough, im done being polite, im done being nice on the matter, these religious wackjobs are convinced they can convert me, so im drawing the line HERE.
          
          if you want to preach to me, then you better preach cold hard PROVEN fact, i have no room for opinion on matters where facts are present, i have no room for ANYONE who tries to preach they're religion to me, SO, so long as you don't try to preach, convert, and/or try to convince me western religious groups are not vultures, we won't have any problems, you even consider doing any of the aforementioned things, and you'll book yourself a 1 way ticket to making enemies of me.
          
          im not in this world to make friends or play nice with those who cannot take a hint, im not in this world to trust mere words and opinion, not even conjecture, i hate for a reason, and i will not hate anything without good cause to do so, i care not if you are religious, i care not if you are atheist, for all i care you could follow Norse, Egyptian or even Shintoism based religions, you could even be Islamic state for all i care.
          
          BUT THE MOMENT YOU START PREACHING, IS THE MOMENT YOU BECOME MY ENEMY
          
          I've had it, im sick to fucking death of people thinking they can preach to me after i make it clear i want nothing to do with it, im sick of it, let this be a warning, so long as you DO NOT preach to me on religion, we will not have a problem, but the moment you consider it, heed this warning, for it is the first and last warning and chance you'll get
          
          i never actually wanted to make this announcement, but recent events have forced my hand. leave if you don't like it, LEAVE