apersononaphoneyes

RIP oscdex

I WAS CREATIFB APOLL BHT DECISED TO NOT SO I SID DSICOROOD DIDCORD DID THE THING WHERE IT DIDNT CLEAR THE THING SO I HAS TO CLOSE DISCORD AND IR SPAWN ED WHEN I CLOSE DIT

My leg hurts

im more unserious than you are

I tjink i ised too much toothepaste anyways heres my strawpags https://jares1313.straw.page

My friend, you have met a terrible, terrible demise. But, uh, y'know, I-I don't feel too bad about it. After all, if... if it weren't from me, it would've just been from someone else, y'know? I guess what I'm trying to say is, life... life goes on. W-well, from—for everyone else, life goes on. Not... not for you. You're... you're dead. But that's neither here nor there. It reminds me of one summer day in the park. I was having just a delightful picnic with my good friend Orville. And I said to him, I said, "Orville, I... I have a story." And he said to me, "What's the significance of the story?" And... I said to him, "Orville, not every story has to have significance, y'know? Sometimes, a... y'know, sometimes, a story's just a story. You try to read into every little thing, and find meaning in everything anyone says, you'll just drive yourself crazy. Had a friend do it once. Wasn't pretty. We talked about it for years. And then not only that, but... you'll likely end up believing something you shouldn't believe, thinking something you shouldn't think, o-o-or assuming something you shouldn't assume. Y'know? Sometimes," I said, "A story is-is just a story, so just be quiet for one second of your life and eat your sandwich, okay?" Of course, it was only then I'd realized I'd made sandwiches, and... poor Orville was having such difficulty eating it! Elephants have those clumsy hands, y'know? Actually, I-I suppose that's the problem. They don't have hands at all, do they? They're f—they're all feet! And I-I couldn't imagine someone asking me to eat a sandwich with my feet. Now, if I recall correctly, there was a bakery nearby. I said to him, "Orville, let me go get you some rye bread." Now, I'm unsure if elephants enjoy rye bread, but I assure you that Orville does. Now, this was on a Tuesday, which was good, because rye bread was always fresh on Tuesday. They made sourdough bread on Monday, and threw it out Wednesday...

Hi apersononaphoneyes it's Amy and I'm back :))))

So recently, I've heard a lot of people complaining about the price of groceries. 
          "6.50 fOr a cArToN of eGgS!!! Oh mY GOd, mEaT is sO eXpEnSiVe!!!"
          STOP TALKING! You're so weak. You see, this is what we in the industry call a skill issue. You wanna know why? Because if you did what I do, you would never need to worry about groceries ever again. And you might be wondering, "Tony, what exactly is it that you do?"
          It's pretty simple. I adopt and eat pets from the animal shelter. It's free. Ladies and gentlemen. My name is Tony Tai. And not only am I extremely handsome, charismatic, and humble, but I'm also the five time world champ at eating dogs and cats. And these are my three reasons as to why YOU should adopt and eat pets from the animal shelter.
          1. For nutrition.
          2. For the clout.
          3. It's the right thing to do.
          Consider the following. Let's start with a little thought exercise. Your average puppy. 10 pounds of protein. 7000 calories of pure protein. Wanna know how I know that? Four words.
          Tony. Tai's. Puppy. Puree.
          What is that? It's actually pretty simple. It only requires two steps. Puppy, blender. Lemme give a live demonstration.
          *barking* SHUT UP *puts puppy in blender* *blender noises*
          10 pounds of protein. You're welcome.
          Reason number two of why I do it. It's for the clout. So the other day, I was at the Paws n' Whiskers Animal Sanctuary down in Harriman, and they have a fantastic menu. And one of the waitresses came up to me- Oh sorry, AnImAl sHeLtEr EmPLoyEEs came up to me, and she said, "Tony, you are such a good person. You know that?" I'm like, "Yeah, I do." And she said, "You adopt so many cats. That's like six cats this month. Where do you find all the room to put all these cats?" And I was like, "I don't know. My stomach? What kinda question is that? It's not like I'm on a diet or anything.

- <:EvilLeafy:1297250651038027786> Evil Leafy (HP: 0 | DMG: 912)
          - <:hprc:1331698285139853395> Hand-Powered Recovery Center (HP: 0 | DMG: 0)
          - <:Freesmart:1326912681919254578> Freesmart (HP: 0 | DMG: 678)
          - <:evilbarbote:1330904160157044849> Evil Barbote (HP: 0 | DMG: 4300)
          - <:FireyJr:1305661775148089485> Firey Jr. (HP: 0 | DMG: 870)
          - <:29:1317942158291894363> Twenty nine (HP: 0 | DMG: 1493)
          - <:NineSIGMAAA:1331796535163486240> Nine (HP: 0 | DMG: 1078)
          - <:Blubulb:1311682222293516408> BluBulb (HP: 0 | DMG: 723)
          - <:thesunOC:1316776044790939660> The Sun (OC) (HP: 0 | DMG: 430)
          - <:Blubulb:1311682222293516408> BluBulb (HP: 0 | DMG: 597)
          - <:Bottle:1305628095507857428> Bottle (HP: 0 | DMG: 788)
          - <:bomb:1315324549734334484> Bomb (HP: 0 | DMG: 1017)
          - <:LittleAlien:1356340161322942626> Little Alien (HP: 0 | DMG: 22)
          - <:mephone4s:1312822085948801064> Mephone4S (HP: 0 | DMG: 1504)
          - <:GB:1366099999250976859> Gumyum Berry (HP: 0 | DMG: 642)
          
          <truncated due to discord limits, the rest of your balls are still here>

came back to 332 notifs