u know that pure stockstill doeeyed deerinheadlights wideyed shortbreathed surgically precise heartdrop heartstop heartfreeze heartcaughtinthroat kind of supernatural feeling ur caught somewhere you shouldn't be
& u know that grotesque monstrous devouryouwhole swallowyoursoul lurking shadow under ur bed & in ur closet that can sometimes take a physical form and manifest in a person
& u know that deaddrop feeling at the transitionary period between potential and kinetic energy at the tippytop of a rollercoaster
& u know that white knuckles hamfisted grabonandneverletgo kind of desperation that tastes like reverence or maybe worship
& u know that instinctual childlogic primalistic sort of mind-boggling spideysense that turns ur world upside down and is always hard to conceptualize in literature wo being repetitive
& u know that kid bitemark habit that left ur hair frizzy or ur thumb perpetually waterwrinkled like a prune or ur nails receding to the beds or ur inner cheek raw and bloody all the time
& u know that medicinal pharmaceutical kind of death
& u know that bonedeep enrathlement enchantment putunderaspell kind of addicted obsessiveness that makes it hard to pry your eyes away and makes it feel like someone did a timeskip to ur day
& u know that nostalgic 'i haven't read anything like this in a long time' & that attractive ' ive never read something like this in my life' & that thrill of finding a new word after years of predictability and stability, or, more accurately, a body of work so wildly paced yet so blatantly cohesive that its mind-boggling, or, perhaps even more accurately, something to finally break the mold after years and years of 2000s babysitters club type literature and incessant boredom
well, in that case, do I have a fic author for you
READ ANY AND ALL AND EVERY FIC BY DUSTORANGE ON AO3 RIGHT NOW I BEG OF YOU THEYRE ALL DEVESTATINGLY GOOD