@random_bookworm12
Hello,
Sorry for distributing you
This is my first story on Wattpad
If it catches your interest then please give it a try ❤️❤️❤️❤️
https://www.wattpad.com/story/393809658?utm_source=android&utm_medium=link&utm_content=story_info&wp_page=story_details_button&wp_uname=mrilina
Hi Bonni!
oh god. okay its been another hot minute since ive updated this. Lots to catch up on. My father sent me to hospital 27-ish days after my 18th birthday. My rooster passed away... i loved him so much. He was so special to me. I watched it happen... i held him as he went cold... and not long after another chicken, J-Bird passed away as well. I finished matric. I failed my chemistry final AS exam. I passed everything else. most of it was okay. I did well in A level Engligh and passed maths and Biology etc...
My human broke up with me at some point. They were thinking about it for about a month prior to breaking up with me, but didnt have feelings for a full week before breaking up with me (after about 1 year of being together.) This came out of nowhere, and we talked. Turns out they were really depressed to the point they couldnt feel any emotions, even happiness or love.
of course the same thing happened to me over the course of the relationship but I told them as soom as it was starting: "hey, i feel this way, but it'll go away, and I'll probably go back to loving you."
5 days after they broke up with me, they said they loved me again. That they just needed more time to themself. They promised that if it happened again, and they started losing feelings, they would tell me.
They didnt.
so now the only full witness to my father's assult on me is dead
my cousin saw some of it, but not the whole thing.
anyways.
charging him sounds... not very fun, no matter how much i want to.
whatever. everything fucking sucks and ughhhhhh.
on ANOTHER ANOTHER note:
... my gran is in hospital. I'm not really sure whats going on, but it's been a while. She was in the ICU but they moved her to a nursing building somewhere. I try visiting but theres always problems with my father or they moved her- etc.
from what i think i know so far: her liver wasnt doing so great. extremely so. she fell, got a cut and an infection and since her liver is bad, her kidneys got bad especially since the infection.
they put her on antibiotics and some sedatives since she keeps insisting to get out of bed and go home... it was like that for a while. she was barely cohesive. eventually she had a seizure - from the antibiotics - so they stopped them.
shes been doing better these last few days. they stopped the sedatives and such, and shes able to be more herself again. but since they moved her to the nursing building they had her back on these "mind-altering drugs" as my father put it. he spoke to the head nurse who agreed that it was unnecessary. which pisses me off- sure it makes life a bit easier for the nurses who dont have to deal with her concious self- but how can she express herself? what if shes in pain? they wouldnt know anything- because she couldnt say it because shes drugged-
its fucked up.
... i hope she gets better soon.
... and while That was going on, my dad got a call from a lady renting to his friend 8 hours away. she said hes sick, and if my dad could come get him to the hospital, or organize it in some way.
well, because of my gran being in such a state, my dad tried organising his friends brother to fetch the friend... i dont think they responded. a week later his friend died. the landlady called: my dad thought she was scamming him. after seeing the ambulance report he was like: "oh fuck."
now hes blaming himself for thinking it wasnt so serious. he trusted his (really really reallllyyy) broke friend to go to the hospital if needed (usually my family and his friends and family chip in)
...he humped my foot, and since that day hes become a horny bastard who violates my space. my hands and my feet.
recently his voice started breaking, he started herding me - and he makes really loud cheeps when theres food. He screams at me to sHut-up at night, and notifies everyone when theres hawks up in the sky, or monkeys entering our house.
he's gonna be a really good rooster. I can tell.
HES ALSO NO LONGER SHIT STAINED!!!! his brown feathers turned mostly white, so hes now a mottled mix of 80% white and spots and flecks of black and brown... some of his feathers look like a barred rock... which was the same kind as Big Boi. Not all of Chip is barred, but his PANTS ARE and his neck. HES GOT PANTS. AND NOW HES GROWING FEATHERS BETWEEN HIS TOES!
hes such a weirdo, i love him.
he loves extending his neck as he sleeps, just like Biggie used to.
he used to be bullied by my older hens... nut now he just blends right in. sits with them, chills with them... I love him so much. Im always emotional about him because he grew up so quickly... but i wouldnt change any of it.
as a teenager... he doesnt come towards me anymore. probably because i chased him away to stop harrassing the local storks we feed and stealing their chicken hearts. hes such a little shit. fucker.
but the other day his roo instincts kicked in and he ran to me and started herding me and pretending to find the grass tasty saying "Here! I found food!" just for me to eat- and (If i were a hen) probably try jump me... just like Big Boi used to.
... yeahhhh hes gonna be a good rooster.
Thanks for adding Free Minds to your reading list! Hope you’re enjoying it so far!❤️
Oh my god guess who's still alive? ANYWAY LEMME UPDATE FOR NO REASON: I'm officially becoming desensitized to faliure- Like I'm reading all my past comments and recently I wrote 14 VERY important AS trial exams for my school and I only managed to pass 3 of them. I only cried for a few minutes and sulked for only a day- however I found a really sweet human being and said human really cheered me up that day. So is it really desensitization or is it just the dopamine I recieve from the person I love? I'm not sure. I'm cringing at my spelling mistakes but I never double checked these messages as they were always written in some bathroom when I was crying. Although sometimes it's while I'm in bed.
I haven't opened this account in ages- but I struggled to find it to show someone I mentioned it to.
Anyways I'm 17 now so I wrote all this when I was 14
r/14andthisisdeep am I right?
Anyways
Stress is unbelievable
My 14 year old cousin got adopted my us, I'm a middle child now, my aunt passed away, I'm on new drugs that make me happy and on concentration drugs and... THE PILL. Anyways I've not passed a single Chem, physics or maths test all year despite putting in hours of work after school and doing help sessions each week.
Uh
My roomate left, so my cousin became my new roomate
Our bunny passed away so we got new bunnies named Mittens and Fluffy
They're adorable but I found out I'm allergic. :(
I also somehow managed to convince my entire family it's a good idea to get chickens.
SO WE GOT CHICKENS
4 big ones and 2 baby ones from a family friend:) [in which the husband also passed away]
(Our original babies passed away so we got 3 baby chicks instead)
I raised those little fucks from the day of their birth. I loved them.
I named one Suki (because it looked like it was painted, and Suki from atla pains her face-)
I named the other one Biggie, because she was twice the size of the other two
And I named the 3rd one Big Boi
So Suki and Big Boi turned out to be roosters.
I literally- I'm so sad
But I will deal with long distance even if it means I get to still be theirs
I love
I'm literally-
I thought I be partly Aromantic until now
Only one other person I liked
And BAM
GORGEOUS STUNNING AMAZING PERFECT NERDY BEAUTIFUL SHOWSTOPPING COLOURFUL KIND CARING GENEROUS MELLOW WONDERFUL PERSON COMES INTO MY LIFE
and I find how ironic
That they're very much smart
They self study A level
And pass
With good marks
And me?
Much failing
So I find that very funny in its own way
I love
We call
We message
I much love, yes
Holy hell I still didn't see this coming
Would we even work long distance? I'm usually bad with messaging (not with him tho, somehow I can - and it doesnt feel strained)
What comes after high-school? For me I wanna study overseas, in Slovakia
They wanna study in the University of Cape Town- and aim to become an astrophysicist researcher
I'm somehow managing to convince them the UK is a terrible place to study (highly expensive, 11 000£ and in Slovakia it's like 4000€)
... what if we lose feelings? We're still young after all, and this isn't a movie. Things may not end perfectly-
Rn I can't imagine not having feelings- but what if- one day
And if that happens? Would they even like slovakia? If we break up before we even gET there or worse- when already IN Slovakia
See I have all these doubts- then when I hear his voice
When I see their face
When we say I love you- I know we mean it
I have doubts, and they're natural. I need to come up with every single solution or outcome of those thoughts or they won't go away. I blame my anxiety and OCD.
Maybe a bit of past depression in the mix to spice it up.
However I think if we can make it though the years of studying in different countries, I think we could have the potential to be more than just "dating"
To me thats not engaged or some shit-
For now it's love, and youngness and inexperienced with uncertainties
But if we can make it, then, it'll become stable relationship
Anyways
My gran moved 6 hours to where we stay, lived with us for 2? Months
Not really- she was in hospital for a pinched nerve surgery and had to do rehabilitation for a month and a bit- which she was not that cooperative in I've heard.
And now recently, she finally moved into her new house and my actual brother can have his room back!
And he and I actually get along now, somehow.
And I managed to find a human that wants to date me-
And I also happen to love said human?? Like how did this happen-
I don't even know
They're literally perfect
I love them so much
Best part?
... they're moving to Capetown in December
The amount of tears still left to cry
Ariana Grande , my queen
Tell me your secrets to no tears
Hi, I was just sorting through my followees when I came across your profile. I don't mean to spam, but I saw some of the works in your reading list, and I've got a recommendation I'm super excited about rn that I think you'll enjoy:
"Lakeside Vampirical" is about Talia, a girl with hyper-potent VanHelsing blood, but uniquely no ability to practice magic and defend herself. She has spent her life both in hiding from and under the protection of a charming but domineering Pureblood Vampire who swore to one day make her his "blood slave." What happens when he finally comes for her, and when her heart struggles to decide between him and another?
https://www.wattpad.com/story/180609161-lakeside-vampirical-under-editing
Idk don't keep scrolling unless it's a do or die situation- personal c r a p that is more dramatic than professional drama films and telenovelas- idk just a warning before you keep scrolling.
If I know you irl: I'm begging you not to keep scrolling. I get extremely embarrassed or flustered every time i say something, or text you, and death would be my only option. So pleaSe- don't mention anything to me irl if you do choose to scroll.
Idk what to say. I'm in a sad phase now but in a happy state or is the happy state just my brain attempting to be happy?
Lemme explain.
My dog... she passed away a few days ago but out of respect for her memory i didnt post anything yet- i wrote a whole entry but never posted it.
She was absolutely beutiful and I don't mention it enough-
She's a chocolate coloured poodle and she was my whole world for 11 whole years I would constantly worry about her, and care for her and comfort her every time she got scared of thunder~
I've been having extremely happy or sad emotions with no in-betweens. It's so frustrating- I want to bawl my eyes out every time I'm not keeping my brain stimulated. I'm becoming a bit more insomniatic in sleep as well- haven't slept well since then.
I keep thinking back to: she COULD be walking and alive, but she's n o t.
I don't know how to deal with grief but I'm managing I think- idk if this even is grief. I don't remember having it before. I have a really bad 'emotional' selective memory.
She's not here, but she c o u l d be
My phone is on 69%
-
I passed the year! Forgot to put this up like 2/3 weeks ago lol