The lingering smell of that one brand of alcohol you buy that dances on your breath as you kiss me goodnight; the sound of the phone when you call, the jingle I chose but can’t remember why or how it used to enlighten me; the sound of each step someone takes, patterns that I remember and evoke too many emotions; the fear of you finding me up at night; how I play instruments by ear instead of counting; the same endless routine of getting up, going to school, going home, and repeating; the sound of his voice and presence of him; the things that I’ve grown to have a certain distaste for.