reina_181

Since I have absolutely no guys to tell anyone and because I can express my feelings here in a way hat it's a bit public and anybody can see it, but only if they look at a certain place. I hate asking for help and I just have to say it somehow so here it is.
          	
          	I'm crying right now. And I wish I was as mentally strong as some people think I am. I wish I wasn't like this. Why do I have to be like this. I absolutely hate conflict and arguments. I hate seeing people throw around insults like it's nothing. I hate spitting out purposely hurtful insults, I hate seeing my friends do that. 
          	And sometimes it's not intentional. Sometimes it's supposed to be somewhat harmless but I take it differently. Cause I hate fighting. I hate that sometimes I'm the cause of it.
          	I hate how it's affecting me.
          	
          	In a totally different topic, I hate what I do to myself. I make excuses not to do things. And it seems like everything is in my head. It seems like the problems I have aren't really problems. It seems like nothing that I do is even close to rational. It seems like I take things differently than everybody else. It seems like I always do what's wrong and what's hurtful mostly towards myself.
          	
          	I'm done. I don't think going on will be healthy

reina_181

Since I have absolutely no guys to tell anyone and because I can express my feelings here in a way hat it's a bit public and anybody can see it, but only if they look at a certain place. I hate asking for help and I just have to say it somehow so here it is.
          
          I'm crying right now. And I wish I was as mentally strong as some people think I am. I wish I wasn't like this. Why do I have to be like this. I absolutely hate conflict and arguments. I hate seeing people throw around insults like it's nothing. I hate spitting out purposely hurtful insults, I hate seeing my friends do that. 
          And sometimes it's not intentional. Sometimes it's supposed to be somewhat harmless but I take it differently. Cause I hate fighting. I hate that sometimes I'm the cause of it.
          I hate how it's affecting me.
          
          In a totally different topic, I hate what I do to myself. I make excuses not to do things. And it seems like everything is in my head. It seems like the problems I have aren't really problems. It seems like nothing that I do is even close to rational. It seems like I take things differently than everybody else. It seems like I always do what's wrong and what's hurtful mostly towards myself.
          
          I'm done. I don't think going on will be healthy

reina_181

Aaaannndddd I'M FINALLY BACK AND READING AGAIN.
          I'm gonna try to read as often as I can. Like how it was in the past :)
          I'm still reading even though I'm not voting. I'm currently trying to reread the past parts of a book that I forgot about when I wasn't reading.