Part 1-
Virgil:
Dear Patton Sanders
We've been way too out of touch
Things have been crazy
And it sucks that we don't talk that much
But I should tell you that I think of you each night
I rub my nipples and start moaning with delight
Patton:
Why would you write that?
Roman:
I'm just trying to tell the truth
Patton:
This needs to be perfect. These emails have to prove that we were actually friends. Just..I'll do it
Virgil:
I've gotta tell you, life without you has been hard
Roman:
Hard?
Virgil:
Has been bad
Roman:
Bad?
Virgil:
Has been rough
Roman:
Kinky!
Virgil:
And I miss talking about life and other stuff
Roman:
Very specific
Patton:
Shut up!
Virgil:
I like my parents
Roman:
Who says that?
Virgil:
I love my parents
But each day's another fight
If I stop smoking drugs
Then everything might be alright
Roman:
Smoking drugs?
Patton:
Just fix it!
Virgil:
If I stop smoking crack
Patton:
Crack?!
Virgil:
If I stop smoking pot
Then everything might be alright
I'll take your advice
I'll try to be more nice
I'll turn it around
Wait and see
'Cause all that it takes is a little reinvention
It's easy to change if you give it your attention
All you gotta do is just believe you can be who you want to be
Sincerely, Me
Roman:
Are we done yet?
Patton:
Well I can't just give them one email. I want to show that I was, like, a good friend, you know?
Roman:
Oh my god
Patton:
Dear Virgil Sanders
Yes, I also miss our talks
Stop doing drugs
Just try to take deep breaths and go on walks
Roman:
No.
Patton:
I'm sending pictures of the most amazing trees
Roman:
No!
Patton:
You'll be obsessed with all my forest expertise
Roman:
Absolutely not
Patton:
Dude, I'm proud of you
Just keep pushing through
You're turning around
I can see
Virgil:
Just wait and see!
Patton & Virgil:
'Cause all that it takes is a little reinvention
It's easy to change if you give it your attention
All you gotta do is just believe you can be who you want to be
Sincerely, Me