rex!

I don't know why Im deciding this in the first place because its probably a dumb decision but Im thinking about moving my works here onto my "old" acc, which will be turned into my main. Im revamping just a ton of stuff...Im really going on a remodeling phase y'know? So basically all my stuff will be worked into my @rexmoth acc. I know it's frustrating but I was thinking about it a lot yesterday especially I don't feel a connection like I do with my old one. Do I love everyone here? Yes, but Ive redone so many things on here like 10 million times that Im debating closing this one and just working with my old one. I wanted to hear everyones thoughts on wether or not they want me to keep this account up for memories ig. No matter what happens I won't be using it anymore likely. But I don't want to do anything without consulting everyone here. But friendly reminder, @rexmoth is my new main.

I meant to bring it up sooner but I wanted to document the fact that July 5th, I finally took a step forward that I’ve been pushing back on for 5 years. When I go to explain it might not seem like a good deal to anyone other than me but it’s something that means a lot. I finally started putting together my medicine, not my medication per se but what helps me with my condition. Part of it is this was the end goal and the other part is it gives me back a sense of control and assurance when it comes to my health. I like to be in as much control as I can when it comes to my health and my body. Simply because it’s more or less a trauma response along with a measure to keep myself safe. I’ve never been more proud of myself for a very long time. It might be simple but it’s something I’ve been hesitant to do for quite some time. I hope we can celebrate this step forward together. I’ll be sharing another bigger one soon once I feel ready. 

Thought I’d be more open about my physical state. I’ve realized that my back and shoulders have been in worse shape than they’ve ever been for awhile and I can see that nothing I’m doing is going to help. If I sit for to long, if I stand for to long, if I walk for to long. It feels like I am literally having my spine ripped out. And in turn it makes my legs start to burn around the joints. Everyone tells me to exercise and just trust the process but about every time I do and if I push myself to hard and do all my exercises and the pain comes back worse than ever. And when I say that they’re just like you have to do it daily when I just can’t bring myself to do that, exercise is something that is just hard for me since my body is so ridiculously weak. 

AMERICA RAHHHHH 
          Ok but uh I don’t particularly do anything to celebrate it but whoever does have a good July 4th!! <33

Bro… I delete my Genshin Book and Hoyoverse drops the BEST trailer I have ever seen?? Wtf? I honestly would remake my book again just because of that trailer that is so excited I am I’m not even kidding rn. I’ve don’t think I’ve ever been more excited for a region like Fontaine also it’s supposedly based off my homeland?? Also I loved the voice acting and just the animation idk it was so so fun. AND Arlecchino she’s so pretty. All of them are BUT HER?? I can only say this so many times Hoyoverse chill the fuck out PLEASE. I can’t take all these hot people. 

I know Im going to upset some people and make others mad but I deleted my Genshin Book. At first I was just going to leave it unpublished for the time being and wait till I felt like picking it back up again but I realized I don't feel like writing for Genshin Impact anymore. I would have loved to keep it up but part of me feels as if it doesn't reflect me or my creative elements. I know some people really enjoyed it and I can't say sorry enough to anyone I upset but I want to move forward. I found that I was always trying to make up reasons in my head as to why I wasn't touching it all and I'm so sick and tired of doing that it isn't good for me. I don't want to keep something Im not confident in, and I don't want to force myself to find reasons as to why I need to keep something up. If that disappoints you then Im sorry but I hope you will begin to understand how I feel.

I thought Id talk about the fact that I mentioned doing a reworking of my old chapters for all 3 of my active books. (Genshin Impact coming later), its mostly because I need to fix my Genshin book and I wanted to add so many characters to my Demon Slayer one that I just decided to rework the old chapters that I didn't like. And with my Omori one I just want to put more effort into it, the way Im planning it if I don't actually make my brain explode doing so is Im going to try for 2  updates each time. One with a reworked chapter and the other one with a chapter that I put forth more effort. But all I can say is it's likely going to take me much longer. Uh yeah thats all I know to say for now, and before anyone asks most of this I didn't think completely through like most things in my life. But it won't kill me to try (maybe).

So...remember when I said I was going to make a more account related post? Yep! Here I am yayyy. Okay let's just get straight into it, Ive been meaning to make this announcement ever since I edited my about page but requests are CLOSED until further notice aka until I say otherwise. I appreciate any and all requests I get but idk I just don't feel like it right now. Updates might slow down a tad bit as I try to adjust with some irl issues but I don't think its going to be anything to crazy as I have quite a bit of emergency drafts. Im feeling better since last time I brought up being sick btw! Have been for quite some time Ive just been forgetting to mention it. Life has been kinda busy recently, which I find to be pretty ironic since sometime in May I said I would have a lot more time on my hands. Summer has been ok for me, just ups and downs overall. Im not really excited to go back to school if Im being 100%. I have so much more on my mind that I want to talk about but I don't know how to go around to doing it and I honestly don't feel like it.

I was debating talking about this publicly but whenever I talk about these things it makes me feel a bit better so here I am. Im going through some issues with my family, and for the most part it’s completely out of my control. And whenever that happens I feel helpless and that then turns to anger. Which you might be asking why? I don’t like feeling like I can’t do anything to fix a situation simply because it reminds me of things that I told myself that I would never think about ever again. And I calm myself down and think about it in a more clear state of mind and then I wait probably a day and the anger only returns. Now let me clarify anger is in no way a bad thing you are allowed to feel angry as long as you express it in a healthy way. But for me feeling angry just about every day does not feel good. Idk what else to add I’ll make a more account? related post soon. 

New theme yayyy!! Im going to be making an attempt to be more active. Most of the updates you've been getting were just super old drafts that Ive been forgetting about. Although I have been putting together some new things! Thank you for all the support! Love you all<33!!