rexgense

I hate you.

rexgense

feeling ko lang ah, i have a bipolar disorder, or baka oa lang talaga ako. I was crying kase. I feel so sad kanina, and then suddenly naging okay rin ako, for very unknown reason na even ako mismo sa sarili ko ay di ko alam kung ano yung nakapag change ng mood ko. Bigla nalang nawala yung sadness na nafelt ko kanina, and then naging motivated na ulit ako. paring baliw right?  -⁠_⁠-

rexgense

confirmed: oa po ako
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rexgense

I have so many things to say and do for you. you had no idea. my lecture notebook was meant to be written with the lessons that you teach us — but oh dear, each space of it was filled with your name and the feelings i can only write on paper; not destined to reach your ears from my mouth. Your face was marked in my mind, and it wouldn't go away even when i'm in my deepest slumber (well that's not so bad, at least i dare to talk to you there..). I wrote everything about you in my notes, my sketch pads, on a small piece of paper, on our home's wall, on my social media accounts, and.. wait, i should try it sometimes on my skin too. I was so motivated to make plans and create lots of creative things just for you. But I always end up with: just a scrap of paper filled with plans, a list of things I badly want to do. YES it's true, i wanted to do it for you. and this feeling of being unsure, a thought of being stupid and cliché — were holding me back. I've been lacking the courage to tell you that i am so happy that you were the kind of teacher i had during my first semester at school this year. Thanks for being nice to me. you don't have any idea what you did. I'm gonna miss you. LOL i can't find the right words to explain how real this is. but i really mean it, i'm gonna miss you. if ever i see you again, please don't be upset when i don't look at you right into your eyes. please don't think that i am not polite and nice. because my god, i only did that because i lack the courage to do it when your presence is near.

rexgense

this message may be offensive 
why do I keep forcing myself onto them?
          
          they aren't a real friend anyway? you know that. You are fully aware that they are plastics—they are mean. Yet you constantly look back at them. for what? because you're scared that you won't have anyone if you won't stick with them? 
          
          You hate them, right? You used to loath them very much before—when you were still not good enough. They used to bully you. What happened to you bitch!? Why are you friends with them? Why are you starting to act like those plastics? I thought you hated those bitch for making you feel bad about your name, your hairstyle, the way you behave.
          
          They didn't change. They are still those bullies. who makes fun about anyone who is not their types, even the teachers that they don't like, the bitches are also talking bad about them. They still don't have manners. They are plastics and bullies. And you hate them. 
          
          You are not friends with them.