kai (hiatus)

ok yea, i’m basically drifting away from the anime fandom
          
          we blame mo dao zu shi and other donghua/chinese drama content
          
          so i might as well revamp my entire account at this point, but i’ll keep the given fanfics up since i like those
          
          however, i’m going to take down my tododeku one since i don’t like what i’ve written in the past, so i’m sorry for those who enjoyed it… maybe i’ll write a new and better version of it tho (i’ll figure it out)

although school is ending and summer break is approaching for me, that doesn't mean that i will have a more free schedule... which is unfortunate. i have summer school to attend in order to prepare for certain exams i will have to take next year, summer reading assignments for the next grade, and i still have mental health to take care of my own. therefore, i apologize for having a lot on my plate and not being able to provide more content this summer, but i hope y'all will have a great one and to the authors i follow, good luck with writing! <3

idk why i find it endearing to see the accounts i follow start to grow from 
          40-ish followers to 100+
          
          either way, keep it up y'all, i'll be here to support :)

apparently, my parents are onto the fact that my younger sister reads smut on wattpad, therefore is 97% onto me (i think) when it comes to writing, so i'm going to unpublish the tododeku fanfic and keep it in my drafts until i decide to put it back up later in the year

heyo y'all, it's ur guy kai here :)
          
          uh, i don't know how to put this into words really, but these days have been tough as heck... so i'm not sure what to do. my mental health is just really bad, but i'm not thinking of extreme things like harm or anything. i don't know what it really is, but i find myself really down and writing is suddenly becoming hard for me. well actually... a lot of things i like to do is hard to actually do since i'm not so motivated. plus, my parents are onto me for writing and since they aren't open to the idea of lgbtq+ as well as me being in that same community, WRITING those types of things in a family where the "norm" likes to be followed, judgement at home ain't rare for me at all. even if it isn't judgement, it just... sounds like judgement to me. i'm terrible at expressing myself (mafuyu sato kinnie, i know) and i probably have potential undiagnosed autism or something, but i'm no professional, so of course i'm not going to confirm all that. i'm uneducated lmao. uh anygays, i probably won't be so open with updating my books, but i'll publish whatever is in the "planned release dates" section. and for the tododeku fanfic... i'm actually not sure what to do with it. i mean, i never had an official plan on what to write, even though i decided to write a season 2. and yes it is very unholy and terrifying if my parents find out... so i'm debating whether i should take it down or not. if i do, i'll just keep it in my drafts and hopefully bring it back in the future. i'll keep up any other fanfictions since i have ideas for future ones. oh well, life ain't the prettiest thing and i can't do anything about it to cope or vent in a household i don't want to be in.
          
          alrighty, have an epic day/night homies, and don't worry, i will still be on this site/app everyday, 24/7

(pt. 2)
          
          
          additionally, i’m just an innocent minor trying to have an epic time with a homie. unlike him who has been to a protest before and has better mindfulness when it comes to these things, this day was the first time i’ve ever been called out and insulted by a random stranger, just for walking down a sidewalk as a race i appreciate to be even if no one can choose their own at birth. i’ve encountered racism back in elementary before, but those were classmates i knew, as well as both sides having little knowledge about how offensive racist acts can be. but a stranger...? it was just a new experience i never wanted to go through.
          
          thankfully, my homie and i were able to spend the rest of our day without thinking too much about it and we were safe :)
          
          although the thought of it still haunts me a bit and the fact i don’t feel safe going out at all since i literally live near areas where asian hate crimes have happened, i’m just grateful that i’m not harmed and still breathing to write fanfiction and to live in general. 
          
          hopefully what i have shared has given y’all a mindset that minors of all races that deal with this crap are affected both physically, mentally, and emotionally. i am breathing and currently comfortable at home to just... cope by telling y’all this, so have an epic day/evening/night! 
          
          i have the first chapter of a new fic i would like to beta publish for this month of april, so i hope y’all will like it :)

tw: racism/asian hate
          
          (pt. 1)
          
          heyo y’all, i’m not the type of person nor usually the one who mentions the kinds of issues going on in our world such racism since i find bringing up such topics unsettling, but i just want to share something related to the trigger warnings i mentioned in order to 
          
          so yesterday, i was having a chill day with a good homie of mine that i haven’t seen since last year, and we were walking down a quiet block with no people, having conversation and all.
          
          then this woman from her window above sees and shouts something racist at us... but i wasn’t able to tell what she was specifically saying because i couldn’t make out the words. whatever it was, it made my friend and i turn our heads back at the woman since we’re conscious and sensitive to sudden loud sounds. 
          
          it seemed like my friend was able to pick up a few words and looked clearly offended, but brushed it off to tell me “i was about to say something back”... which i knew he couldn’t do since it would probably make the situation worse.
          
          and not to directly point out that a certain race should get more recognition over others, but both of us are asian and due to whatever is happening towards the asian community around the past few weeks... i find this alarmingly important. 
          

Thanks for following me and leaving those awesome comments on my book! You've completely made my day!

reading my own fanfics with music >>>>> reading my own fanfics without music

Hi :)
          one thing
          i read ur bio ab the commas and
          *i relate sm*
          like
          my work:
          blahaha, blabahabvgdhsavb, balabsbhs, bla. f,f,,f,,f,d,fds,f,s,,,,,,,,sada,,,,,, Eeeee