To anyone who needs to hear this:
There are times I crumple myself into tiniest pieces— small enough to look like I disappeared, not visible enough to be significant. On conversations I can’t follow through. Life events where I’m uninvited. Moments I don’t feel myself existing. Lists that don’t include my name. I grow smaller each time I feel guilty for the space I take up. I grow smaller everytime I don’t allow myself to live. To feel. To just be. I remind myself to be okay with blocked entries and unreturned “how are you?” To be patient taking the longest route. To not come to grief with being unwanted. To look at being unchosen as just another swerve on the road. To not emotionally collapse when being excluded. To be okay being part of the outside because I am not made to be contained within a box filled with restraints. On every group discussion, a person needs to speak alone to be heard. So self, just be. Not everyone can understand. Point is, not everyone has to.
