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also, it feels like i barely have any time for myself anymore, she would always want my time even if i had crucial exams or quizzes to take n she knows i panic a lot n use my time to focus rather than anything else but she always expects me to still make time for her despite how important it is to me n it stressed me a lot of times already that i stopped caring if she'd get upset bc if she cares abt me, she knows how important this is to me n not make me choose between her or my acads. i'm j so tired atp but we're currently okay ig, our last fight was 2 days ago.. but i don't feel anything anymore. whenever i talk to her, it j feels like a chore now.. like i'm supposed to bc she's my gf. idk if i'm falling out of love or something n i know it sounds so cliché but rn that's how i'd describe it. when i saw these conversations i made when i started liking her, i j feel sad that i don't feel any of that anymore n i want to end our relationship now.. but idk, i'm still giving myself time to think carefully if this is rlly what i want n hopefully when the time comes, it won't hurt as much.

erm 16 months na kami n looking back.. idk. red flag ba ako kung sasabihin ko na ayoko na? we always fight like a lot n idk bigla nalang napagod nako.. first month pa lang nga namin, nagaway na kami ilang beses pero i thought it was okay, i was more patient w her kasi first relationship ko to eh n i really really loved her. idk how it happened, maybe a month ago? 2 months ago? i got tired but i still loved her so i stayed n continue to understand her but more fights came n it was j too much yk like she expects me to do more than what i can but she knows that there are circumstances na i can't control n i hoped she would understand rather than be upset w me but i'm not saying she doesn't have the right to be upset but parang consider me ba. there are also multiple occasions during our arguments where she would be like pity herself when she's the reason why the fight happened n every single time to make me forgive her n end the argument immediately but not rlly address the problem yk. it happened so many times that i had enough n became too blunt on my words that i didn't care if it might hurt her feelings bc it felt like she didn't care how i felt when i raised the issue. i wanted her to understand n reflect on her actions as to why i said those things but instead she focuses on my words n how hurt she was, it drains the sht out of me like i have to keep losing myself n ignore my emotions bc she cares more abt what she feels. she keeps saying i'm too mean n she's hurt but what abt me? u think i don't get hurt bc i don't tell u? bc i care abt the problems in our rs n i want to fix it? it's j so unfair. 

TANGINA KAMI NA AAAAAAA MAG 2 MONTHS NA KAMI HDISHSHHSHSHA SINO KAYO DIYAN

i mean ewan ko kung tamad ako or pagod nako, anw ayoko na

i love being alone n i rlly cherish my me time pero minsan nakakalungcoat lang na wala akong kaibigan na kayang ireciprocate energy ko, marunong umintindi, makavibe, considerate, n same interests ganon.. most of my friends kasi ngayon parang ang selfish nila, madalas sarili lang nila ang iniisip, tapos yung tipong kilala ko sila pero at the same time hindi din like never kami nagkwento ng buhay namin hay tapos minsan nagsisinungaling pa harap harapan parang di ko nalang alam, minsan nakakapagod umintindi n napapaisip nalang ako kung magkaibigan ba talaga kami yung tipong bespren talaga kay circle of friends ko man din sila n we've been tgt since hs na din.. imagine ni unfriend pako sa roblox nung isang friend ko sa main niya parang ewan mababaw ba? ewan ko kasi para sakin it's like they don't truly see me as their friend tapos imagine nung g7, ako pa naging first ever friend niya kasi transferee siya that time pero natransfer siya sa ibang class pero alam mo yun pumupunta naman ako dun, we were even close pa nga.. it's j i don't understand y we should consider ourselves "bestfriends" if we keep each other at an arm's length?? ever since i realized these things nung g7 ako, i never treated any of my friends as "bestfriends", not even my circle of friends... i would j refer to them as close friends ganon but never more than that. i j don't want to expect anything anymore n leave it as it is.. 

nakakabobo talaga ang research tangina pero it's fine right? I did my best... i'm so scared :( i rlly want a high grade in research like academically speaking, research is highly regarded n that's a huge benefit for me as an achievement. i rlly pray that our experimental research will work..

di pako makabasa huhu pwede pause muna tangina naman pagod na yung tao oh tapos mental health week pa namin pero andaming quizzes, walang kwenta talaga sana naman wala nalang klase haha kakatapos lang ng hell week after hell week fvck blue schools 

girl i'm tripping, hindi ko na kaya help

nagagandahan ako tapos ibibitin moko hmp pinagbabantaan lang kita emz HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA PANO MO NALAMAN