Cyber Venom

Update on my dog:
          
          We got the paw prints in a letter yesterday (The Mainline Mobile Vets are awesome, so gentle and so compassionate, they didn’t even charge us for coming out to pick up our dog) and the letter also contained a ziploc baggy of her fur (Which I assumed was trimmed off from her neck due to the color and shade of the fur; I had also been the one to personally ask for her fur since it was one of my favorite things about her).
          
          We are getting the ashes soon probably and I’ve been looking at keepsakes and necklace urns.
          
          I apologized to the friend for overreacting and we’re good now! I was able to recognize that while yes I was angry at her for what she said, I was being the bigger dick (and not in a good way). 
          
          The grieving process has been short and sweet for me (unfortunately I cannot say the same for the rest of my family) so I am not as sad. 
          
          The grieving process for me was quicker because my dog was an 11 year old English Mastiff and English Mastiffs, especially those who have health conditions (she had arthritis and then got a cancerous tumor on her leg), usually only live to 6-10, so we got more time with her than we were supposed to.
          
          She was also spoiled to hell and loved so much so I’ve found peace in the fact that she died having had a full life and that she died a very happy dog.
          
          We were thinking about donating her leftover treats (mostly her doggy ice cream cups) to other dogs who need them since we have so many leftover treats.

Also I will answer comments after school

I had a seizure this morning. It's nothing to worry about since I know the cause and I was only out for under a minute. It was because my friend choked me out (with consent). It wasn't a full blown seizure, just some flailing of the legs. I experienced an REM-like stage while unconscious and woke up because I felt my legs shaking and something warm underneath my knees (which i found to be my bag). My friend is an EMT

So my dog just died, I threatened to kill my 'friend's family because she touched the stuffed lambchop squeaky toy then gave me the most disrespectful response after reminding her for the 60th time that my dog, my EVERYTHING just fucking died. I have cried myself to sleep for the past 3-4 days. I was scared to even take a shit the day of because my dogs lifeless body was still in our basement. I keep looking over at her bed expecting to see her head popping up. I never thought I'd find myself sleeping with and carrying around a slobbery squeaky toy but now I can't be away from it. Nobody ever tells you what it's like to look at your dogs dead body. I took one quick look and felt my heart shatter so hard I thought I was gonna vomit. 11 years of my life from 6-17. I forgot how lonely life had been before her. I went to school that day because I couldn't stand being in a house that had the lifeless, unmoving form of my childhood best friend in the basement. All I could think as I watched the vets load her into the trunk of their car was "she's just leaving for an appointment." I cry on the way to school, laugh with friends, then cry on the way back home because there's noone waiting for me. When I looked at her unmoving, unbeating body, all I could think was "that's not my dog." When asked if I was going to say goodbye I responded with "I already said goodbye yesterday, when that was still my dog." I have always prided myself in being able to look at such morbidity without so much as a flinch, but that? I couldn't stomach that. I felt like I was still sleeping. I kept thinking that I was gonna wake up at some point. For 2 days, I barely ate, I couldn't shower, couldn't get out of bed. Nothing felt right. I was scared to fall asleep and scared to stay awake. I didn't go to school thursday. After lying in bed for 4 hours, I went to Walmart, managed to keep it in when returning a bag of dog food, dragged myself into the tub.

I hope you’re doing ok these days 

my friend put me in a firearms carry. I also helped him reach an apple juice that was on top of an exit sign. He croucheed in front og it and I stepped up on his knee and reached it

i let my friend choke me

when you have to go to class but a pretty girl starts petting your head and tangling her fingers in your hair
          
          and then it ends :(
          
          and now because it felt so good ur practically braindead and can't find your actual class

I want to enlist in USSTRATCOM

my friend knows im ticklish now