When you fear socializing with people you can consider yourself a soldier who has to deal with bombs every day and the people you deal with will have to consider you their puppet. The strings that control you are their words but they don't know that, they don't even know how much they affect you.
With every word they say you move. And you never know when your legs will step on a bomb. That bomb field is your mind. You move through it with every word you hear, with every time you say "hi" as an attempt to socialize, to make friends. And you never know when will you blow up, you never know what sentence or what word will be enough to end you. But you don't lock yourself away from people, you can't. Because their words and their presence force your demons to say their screams in a whisper and they are waiting for you to choose the easy thing, for you to isolate yourself so that they can make their screams heard loud and clear. And also then you will blow up. It's not fair. But was life ever considered fair?