samaa_alhadidi

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     Searching for an answer
          	
          	 “Not all who wander are lost.”
          	 I asked myself hundreds and hundreds of time what does that mean. I kept searching for as answer. I kept listening for many people explaining it the way they understood it. Did I get convinced? Maybe, and maybe not.
          	Am I lost? Am I a wanderer? What am I wandering about? What do I want? Am I on the right track?
          	Kept asking myself those questions, yet I found no answer.
          	Life goes on, and I realize that I hate myself. I hate who I am. I feel insecure. I thought I was happy. I’m not. I can’t remember when was the last time I felt happy. I keep thinking what does this shitty world want from us. We’re still young for all this pain.
          	why was I born? Shit, I wish I was never born.
          	I love life yet I hate it so much. I can feel my veins burning; I feel the angriness running through them. I can feel cuts on my arms. I can feel sorrow in my heart. I can feel hate in my mind. And I can feel weakness in my joints. 
          	I’m as lost as I could be. I’m even lost then a guy fell asleep while driving and woke up not knowing where he is. I’m lost as a kid who had let go his mother’s hand and after a while found himself alone.
          	I don’t know who I am. I don’t know if I’m good or bad. I don’t know if I want to be religious or sinner. I don’t know from where to start and I don’t know where to end. I don’t think I have a destination. I don’t know if I should just stop thinking about it and find something else to distract me, or should I keep thinking about it and try to find an answer.
          	What if I never found an answer? What if I did?
          	Why do I wake up at 5:45 crying? Does it hurt? Or it’s because I over think it?
          	Do I have a goal that I really want to achieve? Or is it just a teenage dream that will fade away when the harsh reality hit me?
          	I find no answer. I guess I’ll have to wait and see where life will drive me.

samaa_alhadidi

this message may be offensive 
     Searching for an answer
          
           “Not all who wander are lost.”
           I asked myself hundreds and hundreds of time what does that mean. I kept searching for as answer. I kept listening for many people explaining it the way they understood it. Did I get convinced? Maybe, and maybe not.
          Am I lost? Am I a wanderer? What am I wandering about? What do I want? Am I on the right track?
          Kept asking myself those questions, yet I found no answer.
          Life goes on, and I realize that I hate myself. I hate who I am. I feel insecure. I thought I was happy. I’m not. I can’t remember when was the last time I felt happy. I keep thinking what does this shitty world want from us. We’re still young for all this pain.
          why was I born? Shit, I wish I was never born.
          I love life yet I hate it so much. I can feel my veins burning; I feel the angriness running through them. I can feel cuts on my arms. I can feel sorrow in my heart. I can feel hate in my mind. And I can feel weakness in my joints. 
          I’m as lost as I could be. I’m even lost then a guy fell asleep while driving and woke up not knowing where he is. I’m lost as a kid who had let go his mother’s hand and after a while found himself alone.
          I don’t know who I am. I don’t know if I’m good or bad. I don’t know if I want to be religious or sinner. I don’t know from where to start and I don’t know where to end. I don’t think I have a destination. I don’t know if I should just stop thinking about it and find something else to distract me, or should I keep thinking about it and try to find an answer.
          What if I never found an answer? What if I did?
          Why do I wake up at 5:45 crying? Does it hurt? Or it’s because I over think it?
          Do I have a goal that I really want to achieve? Or is it just a teenage dream that will fade away when the harsh reality hit me?
          I find no answer. I guess I’ll have to wait and see where life will drive me.