@QueenJoceline Ok First I recommend speech quotes (" ")
Because when people read your story they want you to know when someone is speaking when they read
Second is recommend Space when you write when you have someone speaking separate it from the other words or when you have sentences skip lines
Third I recommend after sentences add puctuation to your sentence
Forth I recommend you Use Making Your Update longer like 859 words at least but if you don't feel Like writting too much Leave them on a Cliff Hanger so they'll come back and read when you update
Other than that you have a great story line and Great love connection❤️