Left alone, caressing ownself. It gets tougher and tougher to rely on others when you were left alone for long, too long. The inner self knowing that no one will ever be there for you even when they promise. They feel fake, they feel empty.
Each and every time, whenever you were in need, no one came in to help, no shoulder to cry on, no hand to wipe the tears off and no one to trust.
Grew up to be independent, too independent, to be left in solitude. Proved again and again that you don't need love to live, no one to fill the void. boundaries around, a safe space for yourself where it is all cozy and safe. if no one enters then no one will hurt.
You proved all the time that you need no one, that they will do nothing but hurt you.
Until one day, your inner demon is you, the little you who was ignored, hurt and left alone without the love you deserved.
Just the little scared you and the older you holding them in with all the love one can provide themselve, just when you caress yourself at night , to tell yourself that you love them, you love them and it ain't there fault.