-ˏˋ𝘴𝘰𝘱𝘩𝘪𝘦ˊˎ-

Jordan to AJ:
          "Maybe when life catches up with you and you start to settle down, you’ll realize I have been in love with you all along." 
          And those words would be the last ones to be ever exchanged between them. 
          
          They closed their eyes. All *person lao* could feel was pain. Yet when they opened them, it was as if all of that pain had disappeared in an instant as they stared into the most caring, calming eyes.

James Fleamont Potter had curly, black hair, the kindest brown eyes, a beautiful laugh and muscles that could genuinely kill someone. Remus didn't like to admit it, but he would thank James if he did that to him.
          But mostly, Remus felt like everyone was mocking him with their gorgeousness. 
          First Sirius, then their brother Reggie and now James Potter? Remus felt like the least desirable human being in the whole universe, including Severus Snape, who had probably been his worst enemy in high school. 
          But not only was James Potter smoking hot, she was astoundingly nice. Usually, people that looked as good as he did were pretty much assholes. 
          No, James wasn't - she was funny, friendly and Sirius' best friend. 
          James wasn't the only friend that sirius had brought to the flat, though, and she wasn't by any means the only pretty one. 
          Dorcas and Marlene made the most magnificent couple Remus had ever met. God, he admired them and desperately wanted to be best friends with them. 
          That wouldn't be very easy, sadly, since all he did was reading a book at the kitchen table while Sirius and their friends were laughing in the living room. 
          Remus hoped that they would never notice him and also talk to him at the same time. 
          And finally, they stopped doing one thing and did the other: "Hey, Rem! Get over here, the guys wanna meet you." 
          "Yeah! Remus? Isn't that that kid from-" 
          "Greek mythology? Yes. Got raised by a wolf. Well, not me, but the...kid in the story..."
          Ten seconds of talking to Dorcas and he had already blown it, amazing. 
          "So, Remus? What do you do all day?" 
          "I'm anxious a lot."

i didn't know what to feel, so i made myself feel nothing.
          not for an hour. not for a day. not for a week, but for the rest of the month. 
          just josephine steering clear of feeling any emotion, walking through her life like the ghost that she was.
          i hated to think of myself that way. or at least i would have, if i let myself feel. 
          
          "i slammed my door shut and lowered myself onto the bed.
          it felt good to be back. i had missed my home, my real home. 
          but slowly, the tears started to fall. i cried and cried and cried, my eyes fixed on the picture of dale and me that i had put up on my wall. 
          after a while, i grabbed my pillow and buried my head in it. 
          i didn't know if i was ever going to be happy again. 
          it most certainly didn't feel like it at all. from the moment on i had met dale collins, i had fallen in love with her. 
her fiery red hair and her chaotic attitude, her 
           dale was my soulmate and i wasn't hers."

pancakes had sort of become their thing. almost a bit of an inside joke, if you asked sirius.
          they trusted each other, they joked together, things couldn't be going better. 
          except when sirius brought some guy home for the first time. 
          the arrangement was that they could bring anyone over as long as they don't trash the apartment, but no one ever said boyfriends!
          great, it had been almost a month and remus was already jealous of sirius' probable boyfriend. who else could they be? 
          "hey, rem", sirius smiled as they closed the door behind them. 
          remus hated when people called them by that name. but sirius was an exception.
          "hey", remus smiled, eyeing the guy next to sirius, "i'm...i'm remus, nice to meet you!"
          "i'm regulus. you can call me reggie, though", the boy with dark, curly hair smiled. they seemed nice. remus prayed to god that they were just friends, or better-
          "this is my little brother, just wanted to show him around a bit. oh, and later, a couple of friends are coming over to check out the new place. that's cool with you, right?"
          remus had only heard the first part. brother. this wasn't sirius' boyfriend, if he even had one, but his little brother. 
          "yeah. yeah, super cool!"
          "great", sirius said, and before they even got to his room, remus let out the deepest sigh of relief.
          
          remus lupin had never truly been one for friends or parties. just wasn't his thing, no big deal. there wasn't a great reasoning behind it, he just didn't like it. 
          that was, until he actually tried it. 
          sirius had described their friends as the coolest bastards anyone could ever meet, and remus was excited to meet them, even though his anxiety was surely going to act up. 
          but when did it not?

the brunet looked up from his laptop where he'd been writing a bit for a short story of his, smiling: "yeah?"
          he loved hearing sirius say his name. 
          "i was gonna start streaming soon, in like, ten minutes, so please-" 
          "-keep quiet, don't make loud moaning noises and don't want into your room naked, i know." 
          sirius shot fingerguns at him and smirked.
          it felt like the two boys had been friends for years. even though remus was usually awkward, especially around other boys, he just got along with sirius to the point where they were able to joke about being naked after only three weeks. 
          maybe that didn't sound impressive or special, but for remus, it was everything. 
          and then, there was the streaming. when sirius had first told him how they earned their money, remus thought it was a joke. i mean, streaming minecraft? 
          having other people watch you play a dumb game and earn money with it? ridiculous. 
          but no. sirius had first started his "job" when he was fourteen, playing video games out of the darkness of his room with his highly expensive streaming set-up, and they got more followers over time. 
          now, after a little more than five years, sirius had nearly reached twenty thousand subscribers.
          he was so proud of his follower count that he promised remus, when they would actually reach twenty thousand, they would celebrate together for a whole week and eat as many pancakes as possible.

while he showed the boy with fluffy hair around, remus got the feeling that he had known sirius forever. he felt so connected to him, and it wasn't just because he could be a male victoria's secret model, sirius was so funny, they played the guitar, they loved old movies and luckily, he hated insects like remus did. 
          this could only be a dream. 
          
          when remus woke up in the morning, he was hugging his pillow and felt like screaming into it.
          the boy was about to google male models with cute fluffy hair to see if sirius was an actual person or just one that his sleep-deprived brain had made up, when his door opened, and a head appeared in the doorway: "hey, roomie! you want some pancakes?"
          remus smirked. he absolutely wanted some pancakes. 
          
          it did take a few very annoying and exhausting weeks, but sirius moved in with remus, who, for the first time in his life, felt really, delightfully carefree.
          remus woke up, he stayed in bed for an hour, he got up and then ate breakfast. on weekends, sirius would make it but they usually slept until he had to go to work. which was, well, whenever they wanted to. 
          then remus went to starbucks down the street, picked up his three-hour shift and then, when he was done, he went to pick up lunch at either the italian or chinese place, didn't matter, sirius loved both. 
          the two boys had, more or less, become friends. 
          how could they not? they had lived together for three weeks already. 
          "hey, remus?"

when remus heard the door close, he could finally really exhale.
          that relief only held on for a few moments though, because he still had no roommate. no way that conservative guy was going to live here, but the rat boy couldn't move in either. 
          no one could move in!
          which meant that...remus had to move back to his parents' house.
           fucking spectacular.
          remus was about to get up and accept the lack of options, call his mother and tell her that her son would move back in with them, when someone knocked on the door. 
          while walking through the apartment to the door, remus prayed to zeus, apollo, aphrodite and all the gods there were that it wasn't anna having forgotten to tell him about taylor swift's album reputation, and for once, things went his way - outside, there was a boy with black, fluffy hair and brown eyes, and remus thought he looked like an angel. 
          "hi", the boy said in a rough voice, with the most gorgeous smile painted on their lips that remus had ever seen on anyone. 
          remus was either in a coma and only imagining this stuff or his parents had gotten him a model as a belated christmas present. 
          "h-hey."
          "my name's sirius, i saw online that you're looking for a roommate...you're remus, right? remus lupin? cool name, by the way."
          "uh-huh", remus nodded and was suddenly sure that this had to be an illusion. 
          "great! so, you still searching? or am i too late?" 
          "no. no, not at all! come in!", remus said hastily, his heart practically jumping out of his chest. 
          he let the confused boy enter and only then noticed his hoodie. a white hoodie with a black, howling wolf on the back. 
          "no fucking way", remus whispered only to himself, not at all despising his parents anymore for practically naming him wolfy mcwolfmoon.

remus sat on the couch in the living room. the moving of the clock hands seemed to be as loud as a cannon in the silence of his own mind. 
          only there was silence, though. out in the real world, the chattering about taylor swift by anna, the girl that applied to be remus' roommate, was unbearable to the boy. not that he didn't listen to taylor, but god, it had been twenty minutes and all she had talked about was shake it off. 
          to think that this was the best option as his roommate was so depressing, remus wanted to scream. 
          still, all of the other people that had applied to move in with him were either schizophrenic and in need of help or texan conservatives, so remus should probably be grateful for anna.
          "rem? rem, you there?"
          remus snapped out of his thoughts and looked up into her eyes, she had a truly crazy smile on her lips. anna was very pretty, he had to admit, with her dark hair and nearly black eyes, but the boy was sure that if she said another word, especially if that was "rem", he would jump out of his own window. 
          no, remus couldn't do this. 
          he knew that he was in desperate need of a roommate since the least thing he wanted to do was move back to his parents' house, and as a broke college student, he obviously couldn't afford this apartment on his own, but he'd rather live with the boy that thought he was a rat in a human's body than anna. 
          "yes. yes, i'm-i'm sorry, anna", he said quietly, still trying to keep his smile, "but i think...i actually have a doctor's appointment soon! so, uhm, if you could...you know...leave, or something..."
          he helplessly looked at anna with furrowed brows, waiting for her to either go crazy or start singing a song from folklore, but lucky for remus, she did neither, just nodded and smiled politely, getting up from the couch.

im just gonna post my notes on here mkay thanks so

//oooh are usernames are rlly similar this is cool