Ari

@genesis_is_a_person thank you means a lot 

I hope you feel better soon! Take your time recovering❤️‍

Also if any of you have any danmie bl reccs for me to read let me know. I’ve read mostly all the classics. My all time fav is heavenly official’s blessing and husky and his white cat shizun rn. So that’s the genre I’m into for danmie 

So in love w the last few lines. The last bridge is my favourite, so much so that i keep relistening to it. 
            
            I will also post a Rhydian version of lucien kinda song. I dont know. but my imagination about the two is spiralling so im damn looking forward to whats coming up in the story. 
            
            All love<3

Final Chorus
            I would love you in every war
            In every life we ruin
            If the world falls down between us
            Let it call us foolish
            If destiny writes
            we’re meant to end
            Then I’ll rewrite fate
            again and again
            
            Through blood and bone
            Through death and doom
            I am yours
            I am yours
            
            Not because the world allowed it. Not because the stars have crowned it.
            
            But because I chose you. Under blood. Under fire. Under moon.

Oh also, here's the lyrics, only posting here for now: 
            
            Verse 1
            There was blood on your crown
            and smoke in your name
            I was sworn to the night
            you were forged in the flame
            They said we were enemies
            written in scars
            Two broken kingdoms
            reaching for stars
            
            I stood in your shadow
            with venom and grace
            You looked at me like
            I was something to save
            
            Pre-Chorus
            Every treaty we signed
            was a blade at your throat
            Every promise I made
            was a lie that I wrote
            But when your gold eyes
            found mine in the dark
            All of my centuries
            fell apart
            
            Chorus
            I would burn through a thousand years
            Just to stand in your light
            Let the world call it treason
            Let the gods call it fight
            If loving you means
            I lose my throne
            Then crown me with ruin
            I’ll still come home
            
            Through the war and the wound
            Through the curse and the rune
            I am yours
            I am yours
            Under blood and under moon
            
            Verse 2
            Your hands trembled once
            when you touched my face
            Like loving me
            was a dangerous place
            Your scar turned black
            your eyes went wild
            Half of a king
            Half of a child
            
            And I should have left
            when the drums began
            But I’ve never been good
            at choosing the plan
            
            Pre-Chorus 2
            They say I’m immortal
            untouched by fear
            But I’ve never been closer
            to losing you here
            If fate is a noose
            then let it be mine
            I’d hang from your name
            every lifetime
            
            Chorus
            I would wait through a thousand wars
            If it ends with your hand in mine
            Let the heavens divide us
            Let the stars realign
            If loving you breaks
            the peace we swore
            Then let them remember
            what we were fighting for
            
            Through the howl and the night
            Through the rage and the rune
            I am yours
            I am yours
            Moonbound
            
            Bridge
            When your eyes turned black
            I thought I lost you
            When they burned back gold
            I knew I chose you
            Not the prince
            Not the pact
            Not the throne you defend
            
            But the man who stands before me 
            you are my greatest antagonist
            My sharpest wound
            My holiest sin
            
            If I must kneel
            let it be here
            At the altar of your pulse
            my wolf, my fear

@sapphicgurlproblems 
            I completely understand what you mean. The current state of the story makes total sense, and even at this stage, it remains deeply compelling.
            Of course the difference between Lucien and Rhydian comes through. Honestly, both characters are very well developed.
            Lucien feels deep, sarcastic, and precise—he strikes exactly where he should. That said, there are moments when his train of thought becomes a bit tangled, and it suddenly feels like he jumps to something unrelated. It’s probably perfectly logical in his own head; I think it only feels that way because, as a reader, I’m not always privy to the full chain of his thoughts.
            There was a line—by Rix, I think—where she says to Auren, “You can’t come here. My Alpha bleeds in these halls.” That line was so poetic and striking that it felt very Lucien-coded to me. Overall, Lucien is completely his own. I’d even say that a star like him doesn’t need more light to shine—he needs a darker sky around him.
            he needs the other characters to be less like him.
            As for Rhydian: he is as quiet as he needs to be. But so far, I’ve mostly seen his confused, exhausted, and wounded side, which makes it harder for me to fully reconcile that with the way he’s initially described in the story. I need to see the reason for his father’s fear of him—and the Court’s—in his dialogue at some point. Maybe a line that completely disarms everyone, yet gives no one, not even his father, anything to challenge him on. At the moment, Rhyd feels like he’s falling a little short of the shape the story first sets up for him.
            In contrast, Lucien already feels like he’s in his strongest possible form.

Thank you so much for taking the time to write this, genuinely. I’m always trying to figure out how to sharpen the story, and I do agree with you: it does lack a bit of character development right now. That’s actually a big reason I decided to rewrite in the first place. As a BL lover, I caught myself losing the plot and just wanting them together already  so I pulled back, stripped things down, and this rewrite is me trying to rebuild the bones properly.
            
            Your feedback about flow and voice really stuck with me. I think part of it comes from where the story is right now, it’s still very much in its “trailer” phase. A lot of characters haven’t been fully introduced yet, and the atmosphere is intentionally tight and restrained, which might be flattening voices more than I’d like at this stage.
            
            That said, thank you for pointing it out so honestly. Please keep it coming, this kind of feedback genuinely motivates me and helps me grow as a writer.
            
            I do want to ask you one thing from a reader’s perspective:
            do you feel you can differentiate between Lucien and Rhydian as characters right now, even a little? I’d love to know what comes across (or doesn’t).

@Olive_329th <33

@sapphicgurlproblems thanks so much for this babes✨️