@sapphicgurlproblems
I completely understand what you mean. The current state of the story makes total sense, and even at this stage, it remains deeply compelling.
Of course the difference between Lucien and Rhydian comes through. Honestly, both characters are very well developed.
Lucien feels deep, sarcastic, and precise—he strikes exactly where he should. That said, there are moments when his train of thought becomes a bit tangled, and it suddenly feels like he jumps to something unrelated. It’s probably perfectly logical in his own head; I think it only feels that way because, as a reader, I’m not always privy to the full chain of his thoughts.
There was a line—by Rix, I think—where she says to Auren, “You can’t come here. My Alpha bleeds in these halls.” That line was so poetic and striking that it felt very Lucien-coded to me. Overall, Lucien is completely his own. I’d even say that a star like him doesn’t need more light to shine—he needs a darker sky around him.
he needs the other characters to be less like him.
As for Rhydian: he is as quiet as he needs to be. But so far, I’ve mostly seen his confused, exhausted, and wounded side, which makes it harder for me to fully reconcile that with the way he’s initially described in the story. I need to see the reason for his father’s fear of him—and the Court’s—in his dialogue at some point. Maybe a line that completely disarms everyone, yet gives no one, not even his father, anything to challenge him on. At the moment, Rhyd feels like he’s falling a little short of the shape the story first sets up for him.
In contrast, Lucien already feels like he’s in his strongest possible form.
