vivverse
@satalitesulpher Thank you so so so much!! It means so much to me. How do you want me to do the character building and inner dialogue? Also I'm sorry but what do you mean by "wasn't really relevant" here?
vivverse
Hey, I am sorry to disturb you but could you please, check out my new book, it's a dystopian-mystery romance with enemies to lovers as a major trope.
Thank you! https://www.wattpad.com/story/373922811-power-perfidy
satalitesulpher
@vivverse No problem at all!! But what i was trying to say is that in the second chapter being Kyrell's point of view, he mostly focus on descriptions almost like idk how to explain it but it felt like that of a rehearsal almost, so by inner dialogue I mean focusing less on descriptions and more on feelings or actual thoughts but here again I understand that your actively building a story so I get it. And when I said 'wasn't really relevant here" I meant that my compliment of your vocabulary wasn't like apart of the actual review it was just something that stuck out to me personally.
satalitesulpher
@vivverse I just finished the first couple of chapters and so far you've got like a great start. The only thing that I could really suggest doing differently is your character building and inner dialogue. Your vocabulary is also like to die for like that wasn't really relevant I just felt the need to comment on it. But all in all great start keep going.
AnnakayRayner
I like your background profile
satalitesulpher
Thank you so much; I also really enjoyed your book "Falling Hard" so it was absolutely no problem voting and leaving commentary.
AnnakayRayner
Thanks for voting on 'Falling hard' I appreciate your time