this message may be offensive
Hi everyone......soooo I have a story that makes me goosebumps and makes me feel disgusted
So I tried dating app for the first time and I talked to people there and everything, mostly they didn't last long for a day except one, let's name him Jay (I'm gonna hide his identity) so this Jay guy he have a good convo skills, he makes the convo keep going and everything until yesterday he said "let's eat in mcdo" so me myself who can't say no to practically everyone, said "yes sure, after class" - which is the stupidist thing I've done for so many reasons pkus the trauma - .......so we meet then he's a fucking CATFISH! YES A FUCKING CATFISH AND A GUY!!!!!!! he said he is 165 cm which like probably around 5'5 but the thing us I'n 164 cm (around 5'4 and ⅓) but when I saw him shit.........I think he's like 5'2 or around 153 cm gosh he's smaller than me, then he doesn't look like in the picture, he's ugly I swear - I don't do much of a judgement especially in person, their appearance cause I believe that a good person comes in heart and what they believe that nakes them make a good choices in life and everything - but for the first time in my life this guy make me want to throw up really bad, the second we seperate ways I shudders and said to myself "EWWWWW, THAT'S DISGUSTING, EEEWWW" I keep cursing myself to even try to meet him, cause that day it made me realize that even tho I'm a good person and have strong belief in kindness, that I still have bad side that I could exhange him for a bear, dollar or anything just to get him away from me and now here I am having another trauma of my life
PS : I'm a good person, it's just I feel betrayed and feel uneasy that I said those in my head and here eventually, but I swear I have a good and soft heart, I can't even watch the street cats who have dislocated legs by the people who maltreated them