wowsa ᐛ

had a conversation as follows:
          
          (me):  ᓭᔑリᓭ ⚍リ↸ᒷ∷ℸ ̣ ᔑꖎᒷ ᓭᒲ⚍ℸ ̣  ╎ᓭ ℸ ̣ ⍑ᒷ ʖᒷᓭℸ ̣  ℸ ̣ ⍑ ᓵ⚍⨅ ⎓ ᒷᓵℸ ̣ . ⍑ᒷ ᓵᔑリ ⍑ᔑ⍊ᒷ ᔑ !¡⚍ᓭᓭ|| ∷ ᔑ ↸╎ᓵꖌ ! ╎ℸ ̣ ᓭ ⊣ᒷリ⚍╎ᓭ !
          
          (my besf frient): ↸╎ᓵꖌ ᔑリ↸ !¡⚍ᓭᓭ|. ꖎ⍊ᒷ ᒲᒷ ᓭᒲᒷ ↸╎ᓵꖌ ᔑリ↸ !¡⚍ᓭᓭ|. ᒷᓭ!¡ᒷᓵ╎ᔑꖎꖎ| ᓭᔑリᓭ ↸╎ᓵꖌ ᔑリ↸ !¡⚍ᓭᓭ|. ᒲᔑ∷⍊ᒷꖎ⚍ᓭ
          
          greatest moment of my fuckin life

there was one time my friend said “being short is like a spork, sometimes its good to use for soup but not good to be a dildo” and i stand by that

what are you, a shit bitch?you dont part your hair down the middle, ill fucking kill you. heres my recommendation, next time you see someone who parts their hair down the middle, give them a wide fuckin clearance when you walk down the street cuz ill fuck you in your ass. cuz ill fuck you in your fuckin ass. you think youre real? youre real shit.. whatre you a shit bitch? you wanna actually street fight me, on the street with no rules? fine. if you dont have your hair parted down the middle youre fuckin goin down in five seconds. i smell pussy oooh i smell pussy

ao3 fics will be like normal n shit then they bust out the "his omega scent was intoxicating"