Seb & Zek

A few days ago, a wonderful boy named Leonardo passed away from osteosarcoma.
          
          I had the honor of knowing him and getting to share my own, Maddie and Harriet’s fights with 4 different types of cancers (AML, the secondary cancer Maddie had when she passed, mesothelioma, Maddie’s first cancer diagnosis, ALL, the one I’ve been fighting non stop since I was 4 years old and DIPG, the cancer Hattie passed away from)
          
          He was such and old soul and so bright and caring, Leon showed resilience even if he wasn’t able to do what he had loved his whole life.
          
          Leon’s body made the  mistake of developing a rare cancer 4 years too early to be treated with adult treatments, because when you’re a kid, you don’t really get to fight.
          
          I’m a childhood cancer survivor, I was a lucky one because two of my sisters didn’t survive.
          
          Kids are dying and nobody seems to care.

Idk why, but like British persons aren’t real and it’s all a simulation

Our hearts are breaking for our friends in L.A who have lost their homes

With Axel turning 9 this year, we decided to show him Scott Pilgrim vs the world.
          
          He loved it and is now obsessed with Kieran Culkin (?)

Ever since Maddie passed I like to update myself on stuff she liked and talk to her in hopes that she’s hearing me and is getting updated on everything.
          
          Yesterday I updated her on what’s happening with Jack Avery and Gabbie, gotta say I got really into it

Next month will be a year since we got married.
          
          It’s crazy, from two teens in love to a married couple with an almost  pre teen, a toddler and a baby.

Happy new year!
          
          We hope 2025 brings everyone happiness and health

A phrase that I used quite a lot following my younger sisters passing after her short but courage full battle with DIPG was “This too shall pass”.
          
          Almost six years later I’ve come to realize, it doesn’t pass.
          
          The pain is still there, not as prominent as it was initially but it’s there, reminding you that they don’t get another birthday, they don’t get another trip, they don’t get to see their kid grow up, they don’t get another hike…
          
          So today, on the day of Ivan’s funeral, I sit and remember those we have lost and whose painful absence we still feel.
          
          Harriet Emery, my brave Hattie-Lu.
          Lionel Angel,our roaring Lion.
          Adriel Malachi, our mystery Angel.
          Kaila Madeleine, my favorite and most missed baby.
          Rosaura Daphne, my beautiful mother.
          Ivan Mataí, the oldest and most strong brother.
          
          And my Brother in law whom I did not get to meet, but in a way or so got us together, Ariel.

I sit here wanting things to be different.
          
          I want a do over.
          
          I want them back.

For the first night of Hanukkah, our moon got a book talking about her mumma that loves her even if she’s not here and our star got a pair of crocheted baby boots that his bubbe sent all the way from Tel Aviv.
          
          My sister in law flew in from Milan and they’re planning on getting the younger kids from Spain for the funeral, their dad is not invited.
          
          Small update, but Seb is not up for much, these days have been a whirlwind of sleepovers and sibling cuddle puddles in their oldest brothers house.
          
          It’s hard to move on when someone you love that much isn’t here for the special days.