I'm a nerdy guy that writes stories, eats food, spend too much time on TV tropes and makes bad jokes. I aspire to be funny one day. Also on fictionpress is you prefer that layout- Its also where I post stuff when it's finished, instead of, y' know, when it's edited and whatnot I currently have two short stories on there.-
If you need me I'll be listening to obscure bands that are severely underrated, being pretentious and complaining about the Hellboy reboot

Also, to point out, I used to be Wattpad as Faso28. I've kept up all my stuff on there for...archiving? I don't know. If you insist on reading any of the utter crap I posted on there, read the (forever incomplete) Falling, as that has aspects that I actually like.
I post things in infrequent 'bombs', 3 stories/chapters at once so that I have time to write the best I can and still satisfy you readers!
Current projects:
A whole bunch of -standalone but still connected-short stories in a post-apocalyptic earth.
A heist book about incompetent criminals that have to rob a bank to save their skins (and plastic coverings), IN SPACE! 
All covers by VanillaBeanWriter.