Jay

Hey, thanks for all the votes on my story :)

Hello author-nim! How are you?

I just got a new laptop so I plan on writing a lot more so expect some updates here soon!

Because the posts I recently made are a real thing that happens here are some hotlines to call. Please be safe And get help if you need it.
          
          Suicide Hotline- 1-800-273-8255
          
          Sexual Assult Hotline-  800.656.HOPE
          
          Domestic Violence Hotline-  1−800−799−7233

          ((Part 5))
          
          But it has a long-term effect that eventually grows bearable and eventually something that they can ignore throughout the day but IT IS NOT something that goes away forever. While the above story depicts a female being the victim, it is not subjected to only females. Men are capable of being raped, abused, and assaulted. Men are supposed to be seen as tough or as people say “be a man” which is inaccurate. While the brain still hasn’t been fully discovered seeing as though you can’t see inside a person’s thoughts. An assaulted male as much as a female needs emotional support, as well as a time to recover. They deserve the same treatment a female victim gets. Sexual Assult happens in bother genders not just subjected to one.
          
          

          ((Part 4))
          
          It wasn’t a phone call from her best friend at that time, or the man who took everything from her youth, it was herself. She stepped off the ledge, and that’s when she cried for the first time in 3 years. She went the same night and confessed everything that happened. It was a small step, but it was a start. By the time she was fifteen she had been to court and it was discovered that she wasn’t the only one, he had done it to others as well. During that time she felt guilty for not speaking up sooner but also felt pride because even though it took 5 years she had finally taken her life back.
          
          
          While the above story doesn’t depict anyone’s true story, it shouldn’t matter because society has placed a shameful stereotype on victims who have been sexually assaulted. As if it was them committing the crime. Rape and sexual harassment are nothing to take lightly. Recently I was talking to some friends and we were discussing the topic of sexual harassment. We had discussed that sexual assault is not something talked about in modern society regularly or brought aware of often. It’s something that should be talked about and shouldn’t be kept in the dark. It should be brought to life that everyone handles trauma differently, and not everyone is suddenly okay once the torment their abuser has on them stops
          
          

          ((Part 3))
          
           Located inside the locked bathroom, the shower running, a bottle of her mother’s oxycontin. No one was fighting for her at that point, not even herself. At half-past 9 pm none other than the man her caused all her pain and suffering had once again ripped her right to choose out of her hands, finding her on the floor the bottle in her hand a giant glass of water by her feet. He took her only means of choosing between life and death from her hands. The second attempt had almost done the trick, the rope hanging from the ceiling fan. She planned it out meticulously making sure no one would be home. She locked the front door and her bedroom door. The note she wrote confessing everything the man who was old enough to know better had done to her clutched in her left hand. It was her best friend that had saved her at that time. The simple phone call from her had saved Lila. The third and final attempt was the one that had impacted her the most. She had partly come to terms with what had happened she was now 14, it came down to the last second when she finally made her choice. Standing up on the ledge, her phone abandoned in her room, nothing stopping her from making the jump from the 50 story building. It could have been the wind flowing through Lila’s thick black hair or maybe it was the fact she realized he didn’t get to choose if she lived or died.

          ((Part 2))
          
          She kept it all inside the only person knowing the slightest bit of information about what happened was her closest friend. Even she didn’t have details. The only other person knowing the full story and every minuscule detail was the man that had raped her repeatedly as he held her quiet, and then leaving her like a piece of garbage upon the street once he had received what he came for. After she turned eleven it was when she became numb to it, numb to what he did, numb to every pain she felt. She didn’t cry when it happened anymore, or try and scream for help, you could say she lost hope. She believes it stopped when she turned 12 because she was no longer capable of her youthful ignorance. She believed she was no longer satisfying to him, no longer worthy. She had become accustomed to being used like a rag doll for two years, it was the fact she was no longer deemed worthy that made her truly close herself off from everyone and everything. The mental turmoil she put herself through for years, everyone assumed she had horrible anxiety when she got to middle school. That wasn’t an incorrect assumption, but it was only a side effect of the PTSD that tortured her with vivid flashbacks. She could physically ear the older man’s grunts in her ear, the awful smell of sweat and grime on him. The smallest things could trigger the horrific vision, such as a boy making too quick of a motion towards her, or even a dumb joke a guy will make about a woman being a slut. Those all played into the first suicide attempt.

***** Due to graphic themes depicted I do not suggest anyone under 13 read. If you are a victim of sexual assault or even suicidal seek proper support. I also do not reccomened your read. Discretiond Advised****
          
           ****Huge Trigger Warning below depicts vivid imagery of rape(of a child) suicide and pedophilia.*********
          
          *****next few parts will have the above warnings*****
          
          ((Part One))
          
          Everyone keeps things hidden. Some more than others, and sometimes those secrets are darker. Everyone’s stories different, no one handles trauma in the same way. Lila had one of the biggest secrets that had happened 5 years prior. In the depths of her bedroom with the person she least expected. Her 20-year-old stepbrother. The night broke the small 10-year-old child, as the night repeated itself until she turned 12. The real reason he stopped the torture upon the girl was unknown. But it didn’t matter that it stopped, the damage had been done the very first time. Everyone asks the victim why they didn’t speak up sooner, why they didn’t try and stop it. All eyes are suddenly on them, the blame they put on them subconsciously. What they don’t know is that blame makes it worse, makes the blame they have already put on themselves worse. The question is why do they keep it hidden from the world for an amount of time. When a victim experiences something the thing for most going through their head is “what just happened?”. When a victim experiences some form of assault, especially sexual their brain processes it in its own way and time. Not only does the brain keep it hidden, but society tries to as well, but does it one again semi-subconsciously. For Lila, it all played a role. 

Guys I just finished Fifty Shades Darker a yoonmin spinoff. Its by @Chrissy_Jean and let me tell you 22 21 chapters usually takes me about 2 ish hours sometumes less. It took me three consecutive days to read. Its an amazing read and the author did a great job. Can't wait for Fifty Shades Freed.